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Drew Marquardt

Scriptnotes, Episode 618: Clearing out the Mailbag, Transcript

November 30, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August, and this is Episode 618 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig Mazin has been buried under an avalanche of work, so today on the show, producer Drew Marquardt and I will power through a stack of mostly career related questions that have been piling up in the mailbag for weeks, months?

Drew Marquardt: Weeks, or months, some of them. But I’m excited for all of them.

John: Usually what happens is we have on the outline a bunch of the topics of the day and then questions. We get to the questions or we don’t get to the questions. They stack up there.

Drew: I usually have about five or so for each episode, and we’ll get to one maybe two sometimes. This is good.

John: We’re going to look at everything from disclosing why you were fired from your last job to who pays for coffee. There’s a few craft things in there, but it’s more work stuff in this batch of mailbag. In our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, we will discuss weddings, because Drew Marquardt, you were just married.

Drew: I was.

John: You are still married, but you just had a wedding I think is the crucial thing. We’ll have some hot takes on what makes a wedding work, because coming off of this wedding, Nima Yousefi was at the wedding. He asked, “How many weddings have you been to?” I said, “I think maybe 15,” and then actually made a list in Notes on it, and I’ve been to 43 weddings.

Drew: Oh my god, that’s a lot of weddings. You’re an expert now.

John: I’m fully an expert on what to do at a wedding and what not to do. You just went through it recently, so you can tell us the 2023 take on how to stage a wedding.

Drew: You’ve thrown your own too.

John: Absolutely. I’ve officiated weddings. We can get into all the details there. Let’s just start with some questions. This first one is a doozy, so I don’t know. I’m going to stretch. I think I’m ready for this one.

Drew: This first one’s from Anonymous. They write, “I’m a mid-level TV writer. Right before the pandemic, I was fired from the show I was working for for making off-color jokes. They weren’t anything worse than what you’d hear on a show like Friends, and they weren’t aimed at any actual person, but I own up to my guilt and feel bad that I offended someone enough to make them complain to HR. I certainly learned my lesson. I won’t be making any jokes outside of the writers’ room ever again.

“My problem is that I’m currently getting ready to pitch on a show of my own. I have a fairly big production company attached. While they know that I wrote for my former show, they don’t know that I was fired or why. They’ve never asked, and I’ve certainly never volunteered. I’m terrified that they’re going to try and set a pitch with the studio who fired me, who are going to tell the producers that I’m blackballed and why, and then it will snowball into me being fired off this pitch and my reputation ruined. What do I do? I’m scared to try to get out ahead of it, but I’m also scared to stay silent. I’m wildly ashamed about the whole thing but am trying to be professional and figure out how to manage my career going forward.”

John: Anonymous, because you wrote in with a question, we have to take you at your word, because we have no other information about this. Let’s talk a little bit about you being fired from your job for these off-color jokes. HR complaints typically aren’t somebody who just said some bad jokes. They’re usually more about behavior. If that behavior was that you are in this room saying these off-color things and making people feel uncomfortable, maybe that’s enough, but maybe it’s not. We don’t know the whole picture here.

You say you feel guilt over it. Okay. Great. You say that not directed at any actual person, but it’s worth thinking about what the person who actually did complain to HR, the people who complained to HR, how did they feel about that, and then what were you doing that really brought them to that situation. Like all these questions, we can only take you at your word that it really wasn’t as big of a deal, but it was big enough that you actually got booted from the show. It sounds like it wasn’t like you weren’t invited back for the second season, but you were let go mid writing room.

Drew: I feel like, I don’t know the situation, but one time probably wouldn’t land you in hot water with HR.

John: We don’t know this. You reference Friends. Of course, Friends was a pretty famous example of a show that the writers’ room was very bawdy, and there were complaints about what was happening in that writers’ room. It didn’t sound like it was the kind of show like that.

Regardless, what’s tough for us right now is that we’re trying to hold onto two things. First off, that people make mistakes, and they can change after that. That sounds like that’s what you’re trying to do, Anonymous. We love to celebrate those inspiring stories of the ex-con who turns their life around. We believe in restorative justice. We’d like to see people and characters grow and change. So there’s that whole aspect of this.

But then also, we want to see writers and other folks working out there to have a workplace that is free of harassment. Given that there are limited seats in those rooms, there’s a natural concern, like, “Are we going to give one to the guy who was just harassing people or was sort of a dick in that room?”

Those are the things we’re trying to balance, try and make these good, productive writing rooms that feel inclusive and safe, and also believing that people can grow and change. This whole answer, it’s predicated on the idea that you do feel bad about what happened, you want to change these things, and you’re deeply ashamed and embarrassed.

Let’s talk about what you do next here. You’ve got to get out ahead of this. It’s insanity to think that this will never come up and that you’re going to wait around for someone to say something about this. I’m curious what your reps know, your manager, your agents, your lawyer. What are they hearing? What are they feeling? Are you actually blackballed or just perceive that you’re blackballed at that studio, that they would never hire you again? Talk to them about this.

What is your relationship like with the previous showrunner, the one that you were fired from? Is it still somewhat cordial? Do they hate you, despise you? Are they never going to return your calls? You’re a mid-level writer, so you’ve been working on other shows too. What is your relationship like with those other showrunners who can vouch for you not being a jerk in the room?

Then when it comes time for this project and these producers, this production entity, I would say start the conversation in terms of this specific studio that you may be going into with this pitch, and so while you don’t necessarily know what their feeling may be, that you’ve left on bad terms. Then talk about what actually happened in there.

You don’t know what that conversation’s necessarily going to lead to or what the journey’s going to be like, but I think that’s your best bet, because I think you coming to them with this information is much better than you being on your back heels when they come to you and say, “We’ve heard these things.”

Drew: Would Anonymous be able to refer them to the other people that they’ve worked with, if they have someone who can vouch for them, basically?

John: That’s why I think looking at previous showrunners, previous shows they’ve been on might be helpful for, I think, overall more context. I think Anonymous is going to have to explain for themselves what happened in that room and why they got let go of that show, why they got fired off that show. I do think that having a broader context around that could be helpful, other witnesses on his side.

I’m curious what happened. Again, we always love follow-up, to hear what happened down the road with these things. Anonymous, let us know what’s happening six months to a year from now.

Drew: Please. Next comes from MD. They write, “Probably a stupid question, but when you’re meeting someone for coffee, like an agent invited you or an established screenwriter accepted meeting you for a possible mentorship, who picks up the tab?”

John: There’s two basic guidelines here. First off, the person who invited the other person is paying the tab, generally. You can split it if it’s a mutual decision. You can split it, but generally the person who asked the other person to come picks up the tab. If you reached out to this established screenwriter and sat down for coffee, you should pick up the tab. The established screenwriter may not let you do that, but you should certainly offer that.

The other general rule here I would say is that the person with the expense account pays. An executive, an agent, those folks are likely going to have an expense account as just part of their business, and so let them pay if they’re offering to pay.

Drew: Is that why you make me pay every time [crosstalk 07:42]?

John: I’m so sorry, Drew, but yeah, I think you’re learning so much here that it’s good for you to always be asking whether you can pay.

Drew: Good to know.

John: That’s nice.

Drew: Next comes from Judy in Wisconsin. She writes, “It’s hard to be a manager or a boss in a creative field. What have you learned about creating a good work environment? Any advice, tips, or strong feelings? When you have lost your cool, what do you do after?”

John: I would say the challenge of being a boss in a creative field is you don’t have real metrics to go back to. You don’t have metrics on productivity, like, “Oh, is this person doing a great job? What are their sales figures?” It’s very hard to do that. In other fields, you can say, “Oh, this person is achieving these things. These are the goals we set for them. This is what they’ve been able to do.” It’s not that. Basically, in a creative field, it’s like, “How much are they making my life better or worse? How much are they helping me do my job, get this project going, get to the next place?”

I think as a boss, as a manager in a creative field, what you’re trying to do is describe where you’re headed, what you want to be there when you get there, what absolutely needs to happen. You’re trying to provide a framework. You’re working with a lot of other professionals and specialists and sometimes other artists, and they’re going to have their process too, so you need to describe what it is you’re trying to achieve, but not tell them how to do their jobs.

That’s a thing I definitely learned on the set for my movie The Nines. Talking with a cinematographer, I could describe the feeling I was going for, but I’m not going to tell her what lenses I want or what film stock I want. That’s not my area of specialty. I can just describe the vibes I’m going for. Same with a composer. Same with an editor. I’m not going to tell them how to do their specific jobs, but I’m going to describe what it is I’m going for, what the things are that work for me.

Drew: I think you’ve also been very fortunate to work with people who, when you describe those things, can probably get to that point. What happens when you have someone who’s a little bit newer, a little more green, and they’re not quite getting there yet?

John: That is really a challenge. It’s happened with other folks working as a PA or an assistant kind of level too, where they’re not fully getting it. That’s tough. You have to talk them through what your expectations are, what it is they actually need to do to get to the next step, maybe introduce them to folks who are doing their job in other ways, in other places, so they can understand how it all fits together.

The times where I’ve lost my temper a bit is when somebody who, they’re in the right position, they should know how to do this thing, and either they’re not listening or they’re just not catching a brief of what it is we’re trying to do. Those are the folks that I’ve needed to let go at times, on a set or in real life, normal working stuff.

I think those are the challenges in the creative field. You can’t point to like, “This is not working out because you’re not hitting these numbers.” It’s not that at all. It’s just like, “I need a certain thing to feel a certain way. I need this all to work a certain way, and this is not working for me.”

Drew: Next comes from Brett. He writes, “I’m working on a secondary character who needs to help tell a story while opposing the lead. In this action comedy, the lead is a tough ass Marine. She’s strong and athletic but a little bit dense. My supporting character, by contrast, needs to come across as smart but soft, dainty, dare I say effeminate. I worry about this word’s context. I’m not a master of lexicon. I’m a redneck boy from Tennessee who learned later in life that I love to tell stories. My secondary character is a child, so his sexuality matters none. Is the word ‘effeminate’ okay when introducing this hilarious 10-year-old intellect?”

John: I think “effeminate” has become a code word for gay, so it’s going to read as you’re saying gay no matter what you do. I think I would avoid that word. It’s not that it’s a slur, but the moment you say it, you’re putting that character into a gendered space. You say his sexuality doesn’t matter, but you’re putting him into this gendered space, where he’s not acting like a good boy should act. It just creates a whole host of issues.

I would say think of an equivalent character from something else and words you might use to describe them. If you look at what is Young Sheldon like or Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Bastian from Neverending Story, what are some words you might use to describe them? Effeminate probably would not be on the top list of things for those characters.

It’s also important to remember that adjectives are not super important. You have that initial character description where you’re giving his age and a little bit, a tiny little sketch, like a sentence. Really, most of what a reader and an audience are going to get about that character are their actions, the things they’re saying, the things they’re doing, how they’re reacting to stuff around them, what their interplay is like with this other Marine character. I don’t think you need to be so hung up about what is the one word I’m going to use to describe that character on first introduction versus what is the personality I’m creating for this character.

If effeminate going for more classically girly stuff is going to be useful or important for that character, find some ways to actually make that happen in your story, but it doesn’t sound like it is. It sounds like he’s mostly there to be bright and hilarious. You might find some other ways that point to the very specific things that this character is doing in this story that make it fit and make him a good, interesting foil for your main character.

Drew: Perfect. Borges writes, “Craig’s mentioned time and again how he thinks in the shower. I have the same habit, and it sucks. I have no way of taking a fast note. The same thing happens when I’m swimming. It’s freaking annoying. How do you do it? Any memorization tips?”

John: First off, you pronounced this guys name as bor-juhs. It’s B-O-R-G-E-S. Bor-juhs is a good choice. I would’ve said bor-hehs. I guess we don’t know.

Drew: I feel like there was a TV show called Borges or something like that. It was Italian.

John: The Borgias.

Drew: The Borgias?

John: That was B-O-R-G-I-A-S, I think, wasn’t it? The Borgias?

Drew: [crosstalk 13:40].

John: You’re Googling this right now. While you’re Googling that, I would say there’s no great way to take notes in a wet environment. For a while, I had this notepad in the shower that was the kind of stuff that script supervisors use on set. It’s really a plasticky kind of paper that you can write on with a pencil. It was pointless. I never actually wrote a note on that, because I could never really read it afterwards.

Here’s what you do when you have an idea and you’re in an inopportune place. You get out of that place and quickly write it down on a handy note card. I should say keep note cards nearby when you need those things. In my house, on the bathroom counter, there’s a stack of note cards and a pen. If I have an idea in the shower, I get out of the shower, I write it down on the note card so I don’t forget it. The same with bedside table. There’s always note cards there so I can write that stuff down.

What’s important about writing stuff down is it gets it out of your head. It keeps you from wasting brain loops to keep an idea floating in your head. It’s a really unproductive use of your brain to just hold onto ideas like that. Instead, get it out of your head, put it on a piece of paper, set the paper down, and you can come back to it later on.

Drew: I’ve also used Siri just in the bathroom.

John: Perfect. You can call for that. Are you saying, “Take a note,” or what are you saying?

Drew: I say, “Siri, take a note.” Then I’ll say the thing, which will usually just be some stream-of-consciousness thing, but it’ll be enough that there’s enough little cues in there that I know what I’m…

John: I don’t do this. If you were to do a note that way, does it show up in the top of your Notes app, or where does it appear?

Drew: Yeah, it does. It’s right at the top. Of course, it syncs across all of your devices, which is great. I usually take those off there and put it into a larger document. If it’s something for whatever project, I’ll put it into…

John: That’s very smart. We’ve talked a bit about note taking and putting all your stuff together. For me, when I have one of those note cards, those all get stacked up by the bedroom door. I write them down. I stick them by the bedroom door, so that when I’m heading downstairs in the morning, I have those things. They go with my daily agenda thing. Then every day I will go through and take all those note cards and put them in Notion, which is where I’m keeping all my general ideas about projects and things. Whether it’s a snippet of dialogue or something else, I actually have a thing to do with that note card, so it doesn’t have to hang around for forever. I get it into Notion. Then I rip it up and recycle it.

Drew: Once it’s in Notion, do you have a time limit that you keep that idea floating around, or do you ever flush those, or do you keep them forever?

John: For every project, if it’s a project I’m generally thinking about, I will just keep a page in Notion that’s just a dump of all the stuff. For active projects, I’ll have at the top of that page a open/unprocessed, which is where I throw everything that doesn’t belong into a specific category. If I haven’t broken out the characters to the degree that I have a separate page for each character, I’ll just throw all that stuff in there, little snippets of things. For this TV show, if there’s things related to a specific episode, I’m at the point now where I will put stuff in the episode note for that, because I know Episode 6 is about this character and this situation, so I’ll throw it in there for that.

Drew: If you have a loose idea, how far back have you gone to grab some of those?

John: We’ve said before on the podcast that I had a list of 35 projects I’ll never get to. This was on the Neil Gaiman episode. Some of those are years and years and years old. I’m not actively going through constantly to sift through, like, “Is that an interesting idea?” But surprisingly, something new will come about those projects every once in a while. It’s nice to have a place where I can just like… It’s a real thing. I can put it there. It has a home. It’s a home that’s not my active brain thinking about it, which I think is important.

Drew: You use Notion, but have you used Miro boards at all?

John: No. Tell me about it.

Drew: Miro boards are what writers’ rooms have been using since the pandemic basically. It’s a note cards app, or it’s online. You can visualize it all. You can have it in all sorts of different colors. It’s been really helpful for me.

John: That’s great. Are you using that for holding onto ideas or for organizing thoughts like sequences and scenes?

Drew: Organizing thoughts and sequences, not holding onto ideas.

John: I’m not using Notion for that so much. I’m using Notion much more for like, these are related documents that are all about a certain thing.

Drew: Cool. Next comes from Dahlia. She writes, “I’m a short film writer-director from Paris. While watching the last edition of Project Greenlight, many development producers on the show kept saying this screenplay and the different cuts of a film made the world of story feel small, like a short film. After watching the feature, I shared this impression as well. However, I can’t pinpoint exactly why. More importantly, how do you address this kind of problem when transitioning from short films to features? What are your thoughts?”

John: Drew, I’m curious to hear about your thoughts, because you have an award-winning short film.

Drew: Thank you.

John: We’ll talk about that. When I hear, “It feels like a short film. It feels small,” the ideas that pop to mind for me are that it has low stakes, that it has few characters, that it has a very short journey that’s more like a snapshot than a voyage, and it has a limited visual scope, that we’re in one location, there’s nothing ambitious about the visual storytelling of the film. Those are things that feel like short films to me. Drew, tell me about what think short film versus a feature or something else.

Drew: It’s tough, because I think when you’re transitioning from short films to features, usually you’re not going to have a lot of money, so you’re going to be writing to something very contained or something like that. Because of that, you’re either looking at a contained amount of time or a contained amount of space. I think you’re right. We had a teacher who taught us that a short film is either a joke or a poem. I always really liked that. Like you’re saying, one central idea. I am curious how that scope shifts and why something like The Babadook feels like a complete movie in a way that some things do feel a little bit-

John: Yeah. The Blumhouse horror films are very classically one location. You’re contained, limited cast, all the things, but they’re not feeling like short films. I think because there’s a beginning, middle, and end, there’s development, there’s a sense of this is the progress that you’ve gone on.

Here’s the thing I notice about a lot of short films, especially the situational short films. You could rearrange the scenes in any order, and it would feel largely the same. You don’t feel like characters are making a lot of forward progress. You don’t feel like the movie is making forward progress. You feel like you’re just stuck in a place. It’s an exploration of a place and a time, which ain’t great.

There’s other movies, like [indiscernible 00:20:15] films, that are a small cast, but they do feel like movie movies rather than short films. You couldn’t make it as a short film because things change over the course of them. The conversations and the issues being explored do progress over the course of them, so they don’t feel like a play or like a short film to me.

Drew: I think that’s fair. How about something like Aftersun? I’m not sure if you saw that.

John: Aftersun is an example of a film that I’ve only seen on my neighbor’s seat back on the flight back from your wedding. Visually, without the words, I don’t have a sense of why it is progressing. I’m just seeing, oh, it seems to be these same three people having different conversations in slightly different places. Yet based on people’s reaction to it, a lot is actually happening. What’s been your experience with Aftersun?

Drew: Aftersun to me seems to be built on reveals. I could be wrong about this. It’s been a year since I’ve seen it. It is more of a character exploration. I think those are very difficult to sustain over 90 minutes or something like that.

John: Absolutely. A character exploration does feel like you might get the same complaints about it feels like a short film. It feels like you’re not actually progressing enough.

I didn’t see this last season of Project Greenlight, so I don’t know what the specific movie was or why those complaints were levied there, but if a bunch of people are telling you the same thing, there’s something about that. I think it’s always worth them interrogating what it is specifically about the film that they’re seeing that’s giving them that reaction, because again, always looking for what’s the note behind the note. What are they looking for more of? What are they missing? Why are they not going on a movie ride with this, but they feel like they’re in a short film?

Drew: Our next question comes from A Young Producer. They write, “I’m a filmmaker, baby writer, that has produced one low-budget feature. While I’ve been working on my own original material since then, I’ve managed to obtain the IP of a popular book. I know the hard and fast rule regarding unsolicited submissions, but I’m wondering if there’s any difference in approaching production companies as a producer. I’m currently unrepped and therefore don’t have anyone who can make the appropriate introductions on my behalf. Is my only hope a manager-producer hybrid? I know cold emailing is barely a strategy. I’ve received some varied opinions from industry friends. I’d love your thoughts.”

John: Great. Let’s define some terms and maybe un-define some terms. First off, “baby writer” can be pejorative. Some people see it as infantilizing to call somebody a baby writer.

Drew: I thought it was a very defined term.

John: Tell me what you think the definition is of baby writer.

Drew: A baby writer is someone who is writing and either has a manager or has a foot in the door, let’s say, but isn’t necessarily staffed yet, doesn’t necessarily have any credits to their name, or professional credits.

John: I think that is the common assumption of a baby writer. I think people’s frustration with the term – and I’ve heard this from other folks – is that it’s infantilizing to the degree that it feels like they’re not actually a person or a human being with their own volition and their own things. It can be dismissive in a way. Just saying a pre-WGA writer is a nicer way of saying baby writer.

Just be aware of that. If you’re calling yourself a baby writer, it’s one thing. Obviously, don’t all other people baby writers, because I feel like that may not be really fair to their experience. Also, if they’re a baby writer, but they’re 50 years old, it’s a weird thing too. It assumes that aspiring writers should be in their 20s.

Drew: That’s a really good point.

John: The other thing which we talk about in this question is unsolicited submissions. That rule about unsolicited submissions is that most agencies, producers, studios, they say, “We will not accept any submission from people that we did not specifically ask for.” Basically, they’re trying to keep you from just cold emailing them a whole script.

What’s important is that a submission could be solicited. It’s possible to approach these people with this property, with this project, with this book which is apparently popular, and say, “Hey, I have the rights to this book. I’ve written the script. I would love to share it with you.” That’s okay. That’s fine. Don’t be afraid of doing that. The fact that you have rights to this book does change the equation, because you’re not just pitching a project. You’re pitching a thing that’s actually based on something they may have heard of.

This feels controversial to me. I’m not sure I agree with this thing I’m about to say. Sometimes on Deadline, I’ll see some producer has optioned the rights to this book, and it’s a whole little, short article. I’m like, “Why is this in Deadline? Who cares about this?” Yet the person who cares about this is the person who got Deadline to print it.

I think there could be an argument for the press release that basically says, hey, you’ve optioned the rights to this book or this property, and you’re now shopping it around town. I would say Google and find the examples of that thing, and just write that same thing. Maybe Deadline or the trades or something else will run it, because then suddenly you might get incoming calls rather than having to reach out there with it. Cold emailing some managers/producers may work. It’s worth a shot. This is all going to be hustle at this point, and so I say don’t be afraid of that.

In terms of who you should approach with it, I would say look for producers who have made films like yours recently, including stuff that you’ve seen at film festivals. There might be some people who are up and coming and hungry. Look who made them, and reach out to them, and see if there’s somebody who feels like the right fit for this.

Drew: I also think if it’s a well-known enough book, that publishing company’s not going to give you the rights if they didn’t believe in you or…

John: It’s not the publishing company really. It’s the author. Basically, the publishing company might have a little bit of sway, but really, it’s ultimately the author and their agent. You did talk to those folks to convince them that you are the person to get the rights to this and that you are actually a good steward for it. Obviously, you had enough hustle and moxie and other terms like that that you were able to convince this author and their agent that you’re the person for it. Trust yourself in that hustle, and keep going, and find somebody who is the producer who could push it into its next stage.

Drew: Continuing on the hustle, Oliver writes, “Last year, I officially sold my first script to a mid-size studio, and it was shot in early 2023. As part of the agreement, there was an optional rewrite clause, although the studio assured me that the script was essentially good to go. On the early Zoom calls, everyone I met was lovely and thrilled about the script. The producers and director were so excited that everyone began sharing ideas, which was super fun, until it wasn’t. Months later, having gone down numerous rabbit holes, the entire process became bleak and disheartening, to the point that days before production, one of the producers was in the script, inserting expedition.

“In hindsight, I feel like a lot of this can be attributed to my naïve approach to filmmaking. I assumed that the studio process would foster a no-bad-ideas atmosphere, where the best ideas can percolate to the top. Next time, assuming I’m lucky enough to have another option converted, I’m tempted to keep my mouth shut, limit my enthusiasm for brainstorming, and focus solely on the necessary edits to move this thing into production. Am I looking at this the wrong way? How might a more experienced writer approach things differently?”

John: Let’s pretend we are not a podcast about screenwriting, but we are a relationship show, and so we are a show which people write in with their love questions. Here is Oliver’s question restated for the purposes of that show. “Dear John and Craig, I fell in love with this beautiful woman, but ultimately it did not turn out the way I wanted it to, and so next time I fall in love, I won’t make the same mistake.”

We would point out that that’s absurd, because you can’t help falling in love. You’re going to fall in love. Falling in love is the point, the purpose. That’s a thing you’re going to do. Going into a relationship with all your defenses up is not going to be productive. You have to let yourself be open to the experience, the process, to know that it could end badly, but still believe that it’s going to end great.

Now we come back to the Scriptnotes podcast, where the exact same thing holds true. In you selling your script to these people, you had to go into it with the belief that this is going to be great, and we are going to be able to make a movie here that we’re all going to love. It’s going to be fantastic. It’s going to win awards. It’s going to make a zillion dollars.

You have to go into it with that kind of love and enthusiasm and belief that it’s going to work, because if you’re trying to shield yourself from heartbreak the entire time, it’s just not going to work. You’re not going to have a good experience. They’re going to see it. They’re going to see your reluctance. It’s just going to be a bad situation.

It wasn’t the brainstorming that was the problem. People throw out ideas as part of the chewing over of stuff. What ultimately happened is that they decided to make some choices that weren’t your choices. That’s frustrating to you. You don’t know how the movie is going to be. You’re concerned that it’s going to suck. You’re concerned it’s going to have your name on it. These are all reasonable concerns, but it doesn’t mean you should fundamentally change your approach next time.

This wasn’t your fault per se. There may have been certain moments along the way where you could have done things differently and had a different result. More experience might’ve helped you there too. You’re trying to blame yourself for things that are out of your control.

Drew: I think it was Chris McQuarrie who said if there’s no time limit on the script, you’ll have a million notes, and if it goes into production on Monday, you get none.

John: Exactly. Listen. You wrote a movie that went into production, so celebrate that. That’s a huge accomplishment, very, very exciting. Let’s hope it turns out well. Let’s talk about how we can help that movie turn out well.

First off, you don’t say whether this was a WGA project or not a WGA project. I’m going to assume that it was, because it sounds like it’s a big enough studio that it was covered under the WGA. If so, the bits of writing the producers did feel kind of hinky, because they really weren’t hired on as a writer. They wouldn’t be a participating writer for purposes of credits. But you might be the only writer who’s credited on this movie, which is great. This movie might have your name on it.

There’s no reason to burn all the bridges and assume that this is going to be a terrible situation. You don’t know that that really was their intention or that’s what’s going to happen. I’d say fake some positivity. Fake that you’re really excited to see what happens, that you’re excited to see early cuts, you’re excited to be part of that process, whatever that entails, so you can make sure that movie’s in its best possible shape. I would say don’t project anger towards them, because that’s not going to help you or help that movie be the best possible movie with your name on it.

Drew: Does it help to know whether the production company you just worked with has any animosity towards you afterwards or whether they were like, “Oh, no, we got this made. We’re happy with it,” and that’s going to serve you too?

John: 100%. I’m thinking back to a couple weeks ago, I was at a memorial service. I talked to a friend who was also a producer. Afterwards, he called me and said, “Listen, John. I felt really bad about some of the stuff that’s happened over the years. There’s been projects we’ve pursued together, and I feel like I dropped the ball on those things. I wanted to apologize for those situations where I feel like I didn’t do as much as I could have as a friend and as a producer.” I said, “Listen. I totally hear that, but also know that I did not feel that at all. I felt like you’re a producer doing producery things, and most stuff just doesn’t work. It just doesn’t happen. There was zero animosity.” Stuff just falls apart and goes away, and that’s just the business of it all.

I would say, Oliver, don’t assume that they think badly of you just because you feel kind of bad about them. They may think, “Oh, no, this is great. This is fantastic. That kid did a great job for us. We would work with him again.” I’d say definitely don’t assume that it’s a problem on their side.

Drew: It got made.

John: It got made. Again, I’m asking everybody to write back in with follow-up. I’m really curious from Oliver’s perspective how does the movie turn out, how is he feeling, what’s his relationship with that. He’s saying, “Listen, if I’m lucky enough to get enough option converted,” this is what you should be working on right now. Don’t dwell on this. Make sure you are working on new stuff that can get made.

Drew: Back to setting up options, James writes, “I recently finished a feature-length script based on a true story. I became aware of the story when my aunt wrote a book about this woman a decade ago. As far as I can tell, she’s written the only book about her. It’s based on original research that she was the first to uncover and stitch together. It’s also not a widely read book. It was released by a regional publisher with a small footprint.

“I’m a little worried that I might start shopping this around, and a producer will decide that they like the idea for making a film out of the book, but they will want to use a different writer and cut me out all together. Now that I’m ready to introduce my script to managers and producers, should I first have my aunt sign a shopping agreement? My thinking is that it would, A, allow me to put a producer hat on and help ensure that I’m attached to the project as a writer if there’s an interest in making it, and B, it’ll help pique the interest of producers and managers, given that I have IP relationship on paper.”

John: Great. I’m going to start this with again defining a term and making sure we’re using the term correctly. A shopping agreement really isn’t the right word for what you’re describing here. A shopping agreement is generally, I’ve written a script, and I’m going to give it to these producers and say, “Okay, we have a shopping agreement.” They can shop around and see if they can find a home for it, without really fully optioning it from me. It’s just a way of representing that stuff. You can also hear it in terms of agents, but I think really any producer has a shopping agreement to take a project around that they don’t really own or control. It’s limited control over things.

That’s not really what you’re talking about with a book. With a book, you’re optioning a book. You’re not optioning a book. You’re buying the rights to a book. It’s your aunt. I think you just option your aunt’s book for a buck or whatever. Have a conversation with her so that she understands.

It really sounds like you did adapt her book, or at least without that book, there really would’ve been no movie. This wasn’t a case where you did a bunch of original research and found your own thing. Without this book, there was no movie. I think it’s a good idea for you to lock that down, so that it’s clear that you really did base this on this, and that this book and your script really are a joint deal.

Then I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think you need to actually walk in there with, “Oh, here’s my signed option agreement.” It’s title of the movie, written by James your last name, based on the book by your aunt’s name. Great. People are going to respond to the script or not respond to the script and the story in the script. But they’re not going to be like, “Oh, this is a fascinating story, but we really want to shake this James off of it and take this book.” They’re not going to do that. I think you’re worrying about a thing that’s not really going to be an issue.

Drew: I wrote a pilot based on a book once. Going out with that, you would get the question of, “Oh, do you have the rights to it?” You say, “Yep,” and they said, “Great.” That was the end of it.

John: No one asks you for that paper.

Drew: Trying to find a good way to transition into this.

John: I’m looking at these next few questions, and they’re obviously red flag questions. Let’s read them and just talk about why they’re red flags.

Drew: First one’s from Anonymous. “I’ve been doing freelance work reading and writing coverage and feedback on scripts for a screenwriting contest website.”

John: The alarm is already sounding.

Drew: “They promise their winners they’ll pitch to industry contacts, and they’re offering me more responsibility on the pitching side.”

John: I don’t believe they’re going to pitch to industry contacts.

Drew: “John, do scripts get made this way? Site runners consider the company an agency that’s financially supported by contests.”

John: Oh, god. They’re not an agency.

Drew: “Does the industry see contest runners as agents?”

John: No. There’s so many things wrong with this situation. Nothing wrong with the question, Anonymous. Thank you for the question. A screenwriting contest is not an agency. Agencies are actually defined organizations under state law. This is not any of these things.

Listen. Are they paying you to do this coverage? Is the payment that they’re giving you enough that it’s worthwhile for you? I can’t fault you for working for this company if you need the money to do this thing. If you’re actually getting something out of it, okay. But I don’t believe that they have meaningful industry contacts.

I just don’t believe that anything good is going to happen out of this situation. I feel concern for the writers who’ve submitted these scripts to this contest, that they believe there’s some plus to this. There isn’t.

Drew: I’m also worried because Anonymous says, “They’re offering me more responsibility on the pitching side,” which seems to sort of imply that they would be made to seem like it’s a development executive almost, when that’s not really what’s happening.

John: I’m concerned for all sorts of levels. I would say, Anonymous, get yourself out of there. You’re probably writing in to this podcast because you are a writer yourself who wants to see their work getting made. This is not a place that’s going to lead to that. Sorry.

Drew: The next one comes from John, who writes, “A producer is interested in my feature screenplay and wants to enter into a producer agreement with me, in which they’ll provide packaging services that includes attaching high-value talent, script notes, and equity to be put toward production, etc. The strange part is that all of these services would be performed by the producer’s production company for a fee, a fee that I would be paying to that producer’s company. My gut tells me that this is not correct. Is my gut reaction correct, or is this an actual opportunity?”

John: Your gut is correct, John. You should not be paying producers. Producers get their money from making movies and television. They get their money from the people who are hiring them to actually get the stuff made. You are not a studio. You are a screenwriter. Do not pay producers.

Amend this to one thing. I think there are situations where screenwriters, some of whom have written in to this podcast, have gone to people specifically to get notes. There are very smart people who give terrific notes on scripts, but they’re not going to them as producers. If you are choosing to pay somebody for notes, whose job it is to write really good notes for things, I think that is valid. That is useful to you, the same way that a novelist might go to somebody who’s a freelance editor who goes through and helps you tighten up your work. That’s fine and that’s good. But that does not sound at all like what John is describing here. I’d say do not pay these producers.

Drew: SR writes, “I made what I thought was a bold move. I’m a non-union screenwriter, and I’ve been stuck in my career writing romantic comedies for a production company out of Canada. When I heard of this Comedy Fantasy Camp being run by icons of comedy, I was excited. It promised to focus on comedic writing for movies and TV as well as writing stand-up. It was quite expensive. It was $3,500 for four days, but I thought it could be worth the risk, especially when there was promised meeting with literary managers and agents with an added price tag of $1,000.”

John: We’re now at $4,500.

Drew: “It turned out to be nothing that it promised. The camp ended up being filled with nearly 100 people, not 15 is what the email stated. A documentary about camp seemed to be the primary focus, so the only people who got any help whatsoever were the few participants they decided would be featured in the documentary. I was never seen or talked to the entire camp.

“Now for the $1,000 manager meeting, it was a dinner where some managers showed up, but they proceeded to have conversations with each other the entire time. I didn’t get to talk to anyone. They couldn’t have cared less that I or anyone was there.

“Some of the crew who are filming the documentary told me they thought the whole week was a scam. There’s so much more that I could say about this terrible experience, but I’ll stop here. Something that could’ve been great and potentially life-changing turned out to be one of the worst experiences that I’ve ever had, and the most expensive. I took a financial risk during a difficult time due to the strike, and it bit me in the ass.

“Do you have any advice on how I could take anything positive from the experience? I know a handful of people who are calling their credit card companies, claiming the camp was a scam. Could that have any negative impact on my career?”

John: The first word here is oof. I’m so sorry for SR. It genuinely sucks, what happened here. I don’t know too many details about this specific camp. There’s a little bit of stuff we cut out of the question. But it was expensive. $3,500, or really $4,500 for four days, I think you went into this assuming it was going to be intensive, really workshopping on your stuff, figuring out all the nuts and bolts of things that could be really helpful from you, and that you were going to meet people in that group who were super smart about comedy, and that you’d really learn stuff from there. That didn’t happen.

We can be generous and say that the big names who are behind this thing or the people who are behind this thing really did have intentions of a certain kind of thing that just didn’t actually end up happening, and that they really felt like this was going to be a game-changer and useful, and they didn’t set out to make a scam perhaps, but it felt like a scam at the end.

Asking for your money back will not hurt you. If you can get your money back, get your money back, because right now it sounds like you were basically an extra who paid to be in the background of a documentary that was filming about this thing. That sucks.

As far as what you can take from this that is meaningful, listen. Sometimes tough experiences do find their ways into other stuff we’re writing down the road. We can think about this experience and reframe it as something that’ll be useful for you down the road, in terms of something you could write. The way you felt about this right now, make sure you’re remembering what this felt like, because you’re going to write characters who have similar feelings somewhere down the road. It’s worth introspecting on that experience.

Were there other people who met during this process, other folks who paid the $3,500, who were at all good, that you can actually at least keep in contact with them, trade your stuff, get a sense of the community around you? Drew and I both went through the Stark program at USC. What I always say about film school is that it’s not nearly as much about the instructors of the class. It’s about everyone who’s in your class together, the fact you’re all trying to do the same things that are so, so helpful. People at your same level are going to be much more useful to you than that one great lecturer. Those are some things you can take from it. Drew, I’m curious what your feelings are.

Drew: I am sad that it was such a scam, but at the same time, it was called Comedy Fantasy Camp. There’s Rock and Roll Fantasy Camps. The fantasy camp experience is definitely a thing that’s out there. I think they position themselves as being an industry thing, which undermines it.

John: I’m thinking about this in context of Austin Film Festival, specifically the Screenwriters Conference at Austin, which we go to many years – and we often do a Scriptnotes there – and the ambivalence I feel about how Austin is marketed, as a chance for screenwriters to come together and learn from other screenwriters, and there’s some big names and you get exposure to people, and we do a live Scriptnotes. In that case, it’s a nonprofit, so you don’t feel as bad about it.

If I was approaching this as a person who’s going to Austin to hang out to famous screenwriters, the truth is that famous screenwriters are just hanging out by ourselves. We’re ultimately going to dinner ourselves. We’re going to panels, but we’re not actually sitting around the bar and talking with you all that much. We’re happy to say hello, but there’s thousands of people there, and we’re just ourselves. It’s not going to be transformative the way that a person might hope.

In the case of this Comedy Fantasy Camp, I think there was a reasonable expectation that something kind of transformative could happen. There were promises made about the $1,000 extra for the manager meeting. I think you would have a reasonable expectation that something good could come out of that. Doesn’t seem like it was structured in a way that was even remotely possible.

Drew: I do feel like if you are a manager or anyone participating in those, you do have a certain duty to the people who’ve paid for that dinner or something like that, to at least talk to them.

John: I don’t know the names of the comedy folks who are involved in this, but I’m curious what they think this experience was like. Do they think it was actually meaningful for the people who attended? Do they feel good about this weekend or bad about this weekend? I don’t know. I’m wondering, almost back to the question we asked at the start, what is the experience of the people in the writers’ room, what did they think about it. They may just be two completely different universes of how people felt about how this weekend went.

Drew: You want to go back to craft questions for a little bit?

John: Sure.

Drew: This next one’s from Will. He writes, “In Episode 611, John and Craig discuss the four or six or seven Fs. In my view, the most interesting and compelling protagonists are ones who are driven by moral principles that enable to rise above these base instincts, for example, Frodo in Lord of the Rings. These characters have fears and fights, but their primary drivers are enduringly moraled and principled. I agree that these moral characters are, on the surface, harder to relate to, but clearly a good writer can make it work. I think these are really important types of heroes to write about and to make compelling. I’m curious, what are your tips?”

John: I don’t disagree with you. I don’t recall the exact edit of where we got to when Craig and I were talking about the Fs. I hope what we said is that even the most noble characters who are doing things for very highly specific and higher-level human reasons, there’s going to be some underpinnings or some undergirdings of these Fs in there, that there’s going to be some aspect of greed or propagation or some really defensible base instinct that could be behind that pride, that morality.

Look for some of those things too, but not to get away from characters who have a moral agenda or for some higher human purpose behind a thing, for altruism, for something else. Don’t run away from those things, but just recognize that it can’t be just about that.

There’s always going to be aspects on a story level, but also on a scene level, that really are about those more primal needs there. Part of what makes those characters feel relatable is that you’re seeing both their rationality or irrationality at the same time you’re seeing that they are animals doing animal things.

Drew: I’m trying to think of a character who is purely altruistic that does feel relatable. I also feel like even Frodo has failings and has all those things too.

John: Absolutely. It’s important that we see Frodo originally in the context of his family, the context of his happy shire life, and that he has those real, understandable, primal connections to those people. He’s going on this journey, which is terrifying and arduous, but he’s still connected back to that initial place. His morality is so important, but it’s not necessarily driving him from moment to moment. He’s often running away, or he’s figuring out how to get to the next thing. There’s a lot of survival happening there is what I’m saying.

Drew: Would you say it’s important to see the character overcome some of those Fs?

John: For sure. Absolutely. I think that’s one of the things we relate to. Sometimes even we’re thinking about, Free Willy’s popping to mind, but other stories involving animals or when they see non-human characters do things like, oh, they’re not just doing one of their Fs. They’re actually doing some sort of higher, more noble purpose.

Drew: When you see Lassie going to get someone from the well.

John: 100%. That’s why we love Lassie, because Lassie’s acting in a human way that does not meet any of a normal dog’s needs. That’s why we love Lassie.

Drew: All my very contemporary references.

John: 100%. Who is the new Lassie right now? I don’t know. Is there an equivalent?

Drew: Is there a Lassie? I feel like kids and animals don’t really have a thing on TV, but I could be wrong.

John: I’m trying to think. There was a Channing Tatum recently which is him and his dog, but I can’t think of anything else. Where are the live-action dog movies that we need?

Drew: We need more.

John: We need more. We need more.

Drew: Nico writes, “Lately I’ve noticed a lot of shows that seem to be judging their characters hard. For example, in Succession, the final episode seemed to be driving home what Roman says in the last episode, that we’re all bullshit. The end of Sopranos, Dr. Melfi decides to stop treating Tony because he’s a sociopath. While these shows’ endings aren’t out of left field and do fit thematically, I often feel somewhat betrayed when these final judgments come down. Weren’t we supposed to be rooting for the Roys even though we know who they were the whole time? Weren’t we cheering for Tony to go to therapy? What are your feelings on judging your characters as a writer? Doesn’t it go against the idea of taking your main character from antithesis to thesis because at the end the characters simply have been terrible all along?”

John: I think it comes down to the idea that you’re writing to a point. You’re writing to a conclusion, a consequence. In the examples you bring up here, Sopranos and Succession, really these are antiheroes. They’re not classic heroes. The degree to which every antihero is also kind of a villain and needs some consequence and comeuppance for all the things they’ve done, it does feel natural.

As a writer, you are seeing things from your characters’ point of view, but you are also aware that they are in a universe in which the things they are doing are not necessarily good. I don’t think it’s judgey to say that Tony Soprano killed a bunch of people and is not a good guy. That doesn’t feel judgey to me. The same with the Roys. They are individually incredibly problematic. I think it’s fine for us to say who they are and what they’ve done deserves some judgment. That doesn’t feel bad to me. Drew, what do you think?

Drew: I feel like a lot of the examples too are towards the endings of these things. The shows are studying these characters’ behavior. When they do these things over and over and over and over again, to your point, it’s consequences. It adds up.

It does feel like a little bit of a judgment. I guess I feel like there’s a difference between the judgment of fate, like the universe judging, and a creator judging. I might agree that The Sopranos feels like a bit of a creator judgment, because I think that changed a little bit for me. I think Succession is one that feels more of like a universe judgment, that all of their behaviors led to this point.

John: What is the difference between the universe and the creator? The creator created that whole universe, or the team behind it created that whole universe. To me, looking at the Roys, because we are so tightly focused on the Roys and what each of them is trying to do at every given moment, it’s easy at times to forget, oh, there’s a whole world around them that is actually being negatively impacted by the choices that they’re making.

In that final season of Succession, where they’re running the news network and making presidential calls that have huge impacts on the entire world, I think it’s right for us to feel incredibly uncomfortable that we feel almost complicit in watching them do this stuff.

Drew: Next, Ollie writes, “I’m struggling with how to best format names in my screenplay, which is based on the discovery of the structure of DMing. Two of the characters have incredibly similar names, Watson and Wilkins, so I thought I would use both their first and surnames to avoid confusion. Should I use both names throughout the whole thing or only in scenes they share? It looks really weird having two names when everyone else in the scene only has one, but I also want to make sure it’s crystal clear to readers. Alternatively, should I only use their first names, even if I’m using surnames for anyone else?”

John: Ollie, this is the right question to ask, and you’re asking it at the right time, I think, because you’re going to want to make a fundamental choice about how you’re identifying these characters and make sure it’s really clear from the reader’s point of view.

As an audience member watching this film, we’re not going to get them confused, because they’re two different people. Just their names happen to be so similar. They’re both starting with Ws. People will get confused reading your script if they’re both there together. It’s going to happen. Is your story truly a two-hander, where they have equal weight and equal prominence? If it’s not, my instinct would be to give the person whose story is more, use the first name for them, and use the last name for the other character.

Drew: I like that.

John: That way, it pulls us a little closer in to the character who we just have the first name for. It feels more familiar, more intimate. The other character is a little bit more distant. That may be a choice that works for you. I would also say experiment. Using both first and last names is going to feel weird and kludgy I think on the page. It may not even help you with the confusion between the two names. It’s just going to be more to read. There are two character names in scripts. It’s not that uncommon. It’s not the default.

An important thing to remember about screenplay format is at a certain point, we stop reading character names. We just look at the shapes of them. It’s a weird thing. You don’t notice them. Once you’re in dialogue, it just flows. It’s why you’ll see mistakes in scripts where the wrong character’s given a line of dialogue, because you get in back-and-forth pattern behind them. It is the right moment to be thinking about how you’re going to do this, because Wilkins and Watson are just too close. Your readers are going to get confused.

Drew: I’m trying to find right now if the Oppenheimer screenplay is out there and what they used for him.

John: Perfect. We will take a look. By the time this episode’s posted, we’ll have an answer for you.

Drew: We’ll put something in there.

John: The Oppenheimer script, if it’s posted there. We’ll put it in Weekend Read if nothing else.

Drew: Absolutely.

John: Oppenheimer’s chock full of probably last names for a lot of those characters. I bet they were all last names. I’m curious whether Oppenheimer is Oppenheimer or Robert.

Drew: That just feels like a lot of real estate on the page if it was Oppenheimer every time he has a line.

John: OPP.

Drew: One more question for things based on a true story. Sam writes, “I’m writing a script based on a true story from the past few years. I’m currently taking a pretty conservative amount of artistic license. The script is structured around actual events, and the characters are based on actual people and their characteristics.

“I’m having a problem, however, with providing suitably compelling stakes and motivations for my main character. I invented a backstory that hangs over the character and influences his choices. I think it’s the right narrative decision, but I’m hesitant as to whether I’m cheating the truth too much. I’m especially worried because the events in question are so recent. If I was writing about an event that took place long ago, I would have fewer qualms about shaping the story as I need to. Can you give any guidance as to how you know when you’re going too far in applying artistic license to a true story?”

John: Sam, just like Ollie, you’re asking the right question at the right time, because you’re thinking about how much do I need to bend events or invent motivations behind things to have them all make sense. The truth is probably yes, you do need to do some of these things, because their motivations are opaque to you. You aren’t going to know exactly why characters were doing what they were doing. Your story needs to make sense. You’re not telling fact. You’re telling a story. You’re telling a story with characters who go through a change. If there’s not an inherent change in the true life story, you may need to invent some reasons for why you’re creating this perspective on the story, that has a beginning, middle, and end, and a real journey to it.

Listen. It’s not going to be uncontroversial for you to be introducing motivations behind characters and what they’re doing. But if you look back to, we’ve had people come on Scriptnotes and talk about the projects they’re working on, they did that a lot, because that’s the job of the writer is to create motivations and create reasons for why characters do what they do.

Drew: If a writer’s writing a script about a true story on spec, should you be cautious if those motivations aren’t necessarily there, because then you maybe just have a scenario?

John: I would say honestly, if you’re writing something on spec – so there’s not a studio involved, it’s not based on a book, it’s not based on anything else – I think you actually have quite a bit of latitude in figuring out why your characters are doing what they’re doing and what is it about these characters and the choices they’re making that is a compelling story.

The obvious example you can go back to is The Social Network. That character’s not really Mark Zuckerberg. There are moments that are taken from real life, but the real motivations behind Mark Zuckerberg are not the motivations of the character that’s portrayed in that movie. The movie’s successful, and I like the movie a lot. But if I were Mark Zuckerberg, I would be pissed at the movie, because it’s portraying him doing things for reasons that were probably not the reasons he did those things.

Drew: Makes sense. Steve writes, “I’m writing a period war script in which US forces get encircled by the enemy, sort of like the old newsreel footage. I want to show the action of the firefights and positions being overrun, but with a map overlay over it, basically showing all the enemy positions in red moving in and smothering the US positions in white, until all that’s left is one little white dot. Do I just write that, or is there a technical term for this type of post add-on?”

John: There is nothing that I know of as a technical term. Just write that. The description of what you just in your question will make sense. We’re used to, in scripts, seeing things that are not strictly what the camera is shooting, but what we’re seeing on screen. Go for it. It’s going to work.

Drew: Niroberto writes, “What would make you prefer being a producer instead of a writer on a project?”

John: Almost nothing, Niroberto. I would almost never choose to be a producer on a project rather than a writer. I’ve done it once. In that situation, it was incredibly frustrating. It felt like being in the cockpit of a plane and seeing all the controls and not being allowed to touch them. I knew what I thought we needed to do to the script and to the story, and I was not allowed to touch those controls and actually do that work. I found it incredibly frustrating.

Drew: Were you giving notes to the writer?

John: Yeah, I was giving notes to the writer. Just so I’m not being oblique here, it’s Jordan Mechner, who’s a good friend and a very good writer. This was on Prince of Persia. But there are definitely things where it was like, “If I could just do this myself, it would be faster and better, and I wouldn’t have to figure out how to note this to death.”

Listen. In the end, the movie was not the movie either of us wanted to make, for various reasons, but that part of the process was really frustrating. When it was out of our control, and when other folks were making the movie, my name is on this, but I had really very little control over certain choices and decisions that were made. For me, producing is not that exciting, but you just graduated as a producer. Are you excited to produce things you have not written?

Drew: I think so. I more than think so. Yes, I am. But I’m also at a point where I’m just excited to get things made seem exciting to me. I don’t think that’s been… Tainted is the wrong word. But he practical realities of what it takes, I haven’t lived through yet. Right now it’s all just excitement about big ideas and all that.

I’m also at a point in my career where I love writing, but if I don’t get to write the thing, if there’s other people that are going to get this thing across the finish line, and I can be that for that person, that’s what’s most important to me. Just getting things made is the most important thing.

John: I’m first and foremost always a writer, so it’s always about how do I write the thing to make it happen. In my non-Hollywood stuff, like the software we make, I am not fundamentally a coder, so I feel fine being a producer on that project, because I’m not a designer, I’m not a coder, I’m not that person, but I am a good leader of people in that situation. If I were a talented coder, I’m sure Nima would hate me, because we’d be arguing about esoteric stuff in the code. That’s I think the difference is that I fundamentally identify as a writer first, and I will produce if it’s helpful for me to be producing. But producing and then I’m not writing, it’s just not a good fit for me.

Drew: Fair. Finally, Danny writes, “I have been a professional late-night comedy writer for 13 years now.”

John: Great.

Drew: “And only during this strike did I learn that I’m part of the Writers Guild known as Appendix A. I realize that we’re a small fraction of the Guild membership, but I find this name to be troubling. An appendix, by definition, is a thing tacked on to a report that no one reads, or an internal organ that can be surgically removed from the human body and not missed whatsoever. I know in three years the Negotiating Committee will have many issues to hammer out, but I feel like getting this changed should be top priority for everyone.”

John: Danny, first off, I hear you. I think it’s great that you’ve been a professional late-night comedy writer for 13 years. I’m not surprised you didn’t know that all this was covered under Appendix A. Appendix A is not a term that the WGA invented. It’s not anything pejorative.

Basically, there’s a whole big contract that covers film and television writing. There’s a whole section on screenwriting and feature writing. There’s a whole section on TV writing, which is mostly also what the streaming stuff is. Then there’s everything else. Everything else that could be covered under the WGA, it got all put in a thing called Appendix A, which is just a grab bag for everything else. It covers you as a late-night comedy writer. It covers game shows. It covers talk shows. It covers daytime talk shows. It covers soap operas. Everything else that is not a feature or a normal episodic television show gets put in Appendix A.

It’s an appendix just because it’s an appendix on the end of this big agreement. It’s been there for a long time. It’s not going to change. They’re not going to change the name. It doesn’t matter. It is not worth any capital at all for the Writers Guild to try to push this into a different part of the contract, because it wouldn’t change anything. It’s still just a third category of writers who are protected underneath the Writers Guild.

What I will say is the folks who are writing for Appendix A shows, especially late-night comedy variety writers, have incredible advocates in the Guild. Going into this negotiation, everyone in that negotiating room learned so much about how Appendix A shows work and how we need to protect them, particularly for the changes that are happening as we go into streaming and into AVOD and into other future technologies. Don’t feel like you are some useless appendage that is not part of the main Guild. You are right there in the center of it.

Also, so many writers work in multiple fields. I started as purely a screenwriter, but I’ve also written TV. So many writers we’ve talked to and writers who’ve come on the show started off doing late-night comedy variety shows and are now doing features or are now doing TV. It all blends together. We need to make sure that writers are covered, no matter which work area they’re working under.

Drew: That’s great.

John: Cool. We answered a lot of questions. I’ve lost count. That was good.

Drew: That was a marathon.

John: We did skip a question. Jocelyn Lucia in Orlando wrote, “In the Bonus Segment of Episode 582, Craig hinted at being very involved with the Foley work in The Last of Us. He said he would give the podcast an exclusive story regarding this following the completion of its airing. Now that the season is out, is it time for the story?” Listen. I’ll leave it to Craig to tell exactly what his Foley was, but I think those doorknobs, all Craig Mazin.

Drew: I could hear it.

John: You could too. You hear it.

Drew: Those little, yeah.

John: Yeah, that’s it, 100%.

Drew: 100%.

John: He’s all the doorknobs. He’s the doorknobs and hinges. There are a lot of squeaky hinges, and that’s all Craig Mazin. He’s basically a squeaky hinge.

Drew: That makes sense.

John: Time for One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing was something I saw this week which I thought was terrific. The headline is An Extremely Detailed Map of New York City Neighborhoods. It’s from the New York Times. What they did is they basically surveyed people all throughout New York and greater New York about, “What is this block called? This block that you’re in, what is it called?” Literally, block by block in Manhattan, but also throughout Brooklyn and everywhere else, it’s, “What is the name for this place where you are?” because if you look on Google Maps or other places, they’ll have these categories for what these places are. There’ll be voting districts and things like that. But how people actually identify their block can be very specific.

What I love about how they charted this on this New York Times, again, incredibly detailed infographic with interactive elements, you can see really block by block how people identify. You can see the hazy borders between some places. Other times it’s super crisp, because on this side of a highway, it’s this; on this side of a highway, it’s that. I just thought it was great. There’s historic names. There’s newer names. I remember they were trying to rebrand Hell’s Kitchen as Clinton for a while, and that didn’t work.

Drew: Lower Manhattan on this is just a mess. Block by block, it’s [crosstalk 01:04:29].

John: Block by block. It’s great. I think it’s one of the reasons why New York is terrific but also really intimidating for outsiders is people will say a name, like, “I don’t know what that is.” “I have a friend who lives in Astoria.” I’m like, “I don’t know what Astoria is.” It’s like, “Oh, it’s that thing.” Surprisingly, that’s actually a very well-defined area.

With the exception of Roosevelt Island – either you’re on Roosevelt Island or you’re not on Roosevelt Island – a lot of other places are very ambiguous about what the boundaries are. In some cases it’s gentrification, or Upper East Side keeps getting pushed further and further north, where there used to be clearer boundaries between things.

Drew: Also, it looks like people on the Upper East Side also identify as being in Yorkville, which I’ve never heard before.

John: See, yeah. But a New Yorker would know maybe what Yorkville was. Of course, there’s going to be new stuff always coming online. Even driving to LA, we’re at the edge of Koreatown, which originally I was like, “Wait, is that pejorative? Is it bad to call it Koreatown?” No. It’s the largest Korean population outside of Korea in the world. Our Koreatown is really big. There’s also Historic Filipinotown. We have a Chinatown. We have Little Armenia. We have specific neighborhoods that come and go, but our boundaries are really blurry in Los Angeles too.

Drew: Do you believe East Hollywood is a thing?

John: I do not believe in East Hollywood.

Drew: I don’t either. That feels like we really tried, and we’re still trying.

John: For folks who don’t know Los Angeles, West Hollywood is actually a separate city. It is literally not part of Los Angeles. Fully surrounded by Los Angeles, but it’s not part of Los Angeles. Hollywood is just Hollywood. I guess it makes sense why you might call something East Hollywood, but where does East Hollywood start in people’s minds?

Drew: I think it’s between the Hollywood of the Capitol Records building and Little Armenia, basically.

John: To the freeway or past the freeway?

Drew: Maybe it’s everything east of the 101, but not quite. I don’t know. It’s so vague.

John: The 101 would be a good way to divide that, but I don’t know. A couple years ago, I think Curbed did a thing kind of like this for their site for Los Angeles. But I really want New York Times or LA Times to do the exact same thing, because I’m really curious what people would identify, because I would call this Hancock Park, but Windsor Square is right next door. People in Windsor Square, they just call it Hancock Park. No one really calls it Windsor Square anymore.

Drew: That’s very cool. Mine is much more low-tech. Mine is your local photo lab.

John: Tell us why.

Drew: For my wedding, we had about a dozen disposable cameras on the table. Every time in the last 10, 15 years I’ve gotten pictures printed, I’ve taken it to Target or CVS, and they are terrible. They’re about the same quality as if I had printed them at home. I don’t really know how to print them at home either.

We decided to go to a local place. They are lovely. They are so much cheaper than… We looked online at places that would be able to take the cameras. We were in Massachusetts. We were in Danvers, Massachusetts. This place was about a third of the price. They care about your pictures. They are guys who have been around these chemicals since high school basically and know what they’re doing. They took the cameras. They had us create a little Dropbox folder, or you can do Google Drive. They scan all the negatives, plop it right in there. You can pick what you want, and they print it out for you.

That’s the specific one, but I think most places… Not everyone still has a photo lab in their hometown. If you have them, check them out, because it’s people who care about your pictures, that make way better pictures than just the stuff you can order online.

John: Drew, are you old enough to remember one-hour photo labs?

Drew: Oh, yeah.

John: At the mall, you could actually take them in and get your photos back in an hour. Those all went away, because we all have digital cameras now. That machinery, that stuff still exists somewhere. It’s frustrating that if you go to CVS now – my daughter used a disposable camera for this hiking trip she took – if you send it in, it takes two weeks to come back. How soon are you getting photos back? Have you gotten them back yet?

Drew: We haven’t gotten the physical copies back yet. I think they’re going to ship them out this weekend.

John: Have you gotten the online ones?

Drew: Yes.

John: Great. That’s what you want.

Drew: It’s helpful too, because you can post them and all that stuff. Also, I don’t know, I get a little sad having my photos just sit on my camera. You don’t revisit them the same way. With those one-hour photo labs, used to, you’d get them and you’d sit down right there on the floor and you’d rip it open and look through them. I miss that a little bit. I think it’s more than just nostalgia. It’s genuinely people who care about the quality of it, which is great.

John: Great. Thank you for this One Cool Thing, because my assumption going into this was just you have to go to CVS or Target, because they’re the only places who can do that stuff. Of course there should be labs who can do that. That’s an established technology.

Drew: They’ve got all the same stuff.

John: Cool. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, who’s right here, edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Drew: Woo!

John: Outro this week is by Nico Mansy, and wow, it’s a really fun one. Thank Nico for this one. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@dev.johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions, which Drew will file and organize, and we’ll eventually get to them in an episode. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. If you’re Stuart Friedel, you can find a few of them left downstairs in the racks.

Drew: I think we have two.

John: Either one. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on weddings. Drew, thank you for all your hard work on this mailbag episode.

Drew: It was fun. Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Drew, so you got married. Congratulations.

Drew: Thank you.

John: How does the wedding ring feel? I see it in your hand.

Drew: I keep playing with it a little bit. We were talking a little bit after the wedding about getting sleeved, and now I can’t stop worrying about that. It’s a little bit loose, so I’m constantly worried that I’m going to just catch it on something and it’s going to take my skin with it.

John: The terrifying thing that I brought up to Drew and ruined his life was the fact that it has happened that people have gotten their rings caught on things and then fallen or it pulled off all the skin on their finger, leaving just bone, which is absolutely terrifying.

Drew: It’s a new fear that’s entered my life. It used to just be losing my teeth.

John: But you did not lose your teeth or your finger. You got married. Let’s talk through wedding stuff, because weddings are so important. As I said in the setup here, I believed I’d been to a dozen or so weddings, and of course I’ve been to 43 or whatever. I’ve been to so many weddings. Yours was lovely. Yours was really great.

Let’s talk about some of the things that made your wedding great, the plan going into that, and as a person who I’m sure has been to a zillion weddings because of your age cohort, things you were looking for, things you were trying to avoid.

Drew: I actually haven’t been to that many weddings. I think people my age, especially in the entertainment industry, seem to be pushing the weddings further and further out.

John: Weirdly, your college friends are not married. I met a bunch of your college friends. For whatever reason, they’re not married.

Drew: They’ve been dating for decades, some of them, but yeah, they’re not married. This was one of the first in my friends group. We’ve been engaged for two years, which maybe helped. It gave us some time to plan. But I will say it didn’t change that much, because I think there are some things you can’t start doing until certain points. About a year out, that’s when you can start sending certain things, and that you get certain information. I’m not sure that necessarily helped make it good.

John: For the folks who weren’t there, which is hopefully most of this audience-

Drew: Yeah, could be.

John: Let’s start with the venue, because you picked a historic venue, and the whole wedding took place at that venue, including the reception and everything afterwards. There was no go to one place, then hop in your car, drive to another place for the party thereafter. That was a fundamental decision?

Drew: That was a fundamental decision. The place we chose was a historic landmark, which you think might be expensive, but actually, because it was government-owned, it was actually pretty cheap, compared to some of the places that you look at where it’s $10,000 for the night or something crazy for a barn. That helped. We also wanted a nondenominational wedding. We picked that place. It was beautiful enough as it was. Sorry, what was your [indiscernible 01:13:06]?

John: The venue was great. You picked it early on. You reserved it. Clearly, that venue had been used for weddings a ton. You didn’t have to invent everything, correct?

Drew: Correct. The nice part also about picking that venue was that, because it was a historic building, they had certain controls in place. They had their caterers, who knew the building. They were the only caterers we could work with, so we didn’t have to go taste a million things. They had recommendations for everyone. They do weddings all the time, so they had their people, which we were happy to take their recommendations. We used their recommendations. Also, little things like no actual burning candles, nothing like that, so safety was built in. Especially as we were planning during COVID, they were very strict about that, so that was important to us too.

John: Great. Let’s talk about guests. We got a save the date and then we got further information. How early on did you have a sense of how many guests there would be?

Drew: You go in with the big dream of everyone you’ve ever met is going to be at this wedding. I think I still would have loved for that to be the case. Then the practicalities and money and all that very quickly winnows that down. We knew we were looking about 100 guests maximum.

Then you’re also doing the balance too, where you have your family, and you have to figure that out. You want to make sure it’s balanced between the two people, so that no one feels like it’s one family’s wedding or that it’s the other family’s wedding. All those little politics things start coming into play. We were really lucky. We had two great families who were very understanding and all that stuff. Still, you never want to push anyone into places where they’re going to feel uncomfortable or any of those things.

What was nice was take big swaths out of the equation. I just went through the Stark Program. I was able to say, “That’s 30 people. That’s going to be too much of one block. I don’t want to pick and choose, because I love them all. I’m just going to say no one from grad school. I love you, but it’s not going to happen this time.”

John: That was a question, because I was wondering where the Stark friends were there. For our wedding, we were about the same size. What we did was we did a bachelor’s night party the night before the wedding, where we just invited all the folks who we couldn’t invite to the wedding. We had a venue and a bar, and we were all there. We had little photo booths. It was just like an extra little reception-

Drew: That’s great.

John: … but just the night before, so it wasn’t the wedding. That ended up working out well for us.

Drew: Sorry. Was it for your wedding guests too?

John: No. Wedding guests were not invited to that. It’s just the folks who we couldn’t invite to the wedding, like our dentist and other friends like that. I guess there may have been a couple people who were at both, but really the expectation was not that you were going to be at both. You were going to be at one or the other. It was fun. It worked out really well. I don’t want to say these were second-tier friends, but this is what we would’ve invited all the Stark friends to. We did invite a lot of my Stark friends to that.

Drew: I think we probably need to do that too. We’ve promised people that we would do something like that.

John: That’d be great, just an LA reception for this. Now, you were a destination wedding. Neither of you live where the wedding was. This was her hometown. How early in the process did you decide that it was a destination wedding?

Drew: Fairly early on. We played around with the idea of it being in LA. But part of it was cost. Part of it was getting her family out here had been tough, and grandparents too.

John: Of course.

Drew: Especially if you want to make sure certain grandparents are there. I don’t have any grandparents, so my family was very mobile and able to go. That felt like that was the smartest idea at the time. The idea of it being a destination wedding definitely comes into play. You realize that you’re asking a lot more from your guests-

John: Absolutely.

Drew: … than if you were just doing it even in a backyard or something.

John: Absolutely. I have friends who are in their late 20s, early 30s, who are at the really peak age of a zillion weddings. All their college friends are getting married. Megana went through this as well when she was doing this producer job, where she was just constantly going from one to the next. It becomes that cliché of 27 Dresses or Plus One, where your life is just spent going from wedding to wedding to wedding and feeling frustration that you don’t have a life of your own, you’re just a guest at weddings.

Drew: The money, especially for Megana, being part of those bridal parties or bachelor party. You want the friendship. You want to be invited. But oh my god. I feel so bad for my best man. How much money he spent on me is humbling. I think that’s been a thing too that’s been really hard to cope with is how much people do for you, and you have to just accept it and not feel guilty about it. It’s overwhelming when you start realizing how much people are doing for you.

John: Let’s talk through some of the cliches of weddings and also things we’ve seen in movies and television. The fact that on your wedding day, you’re not going to have a chance to talk to anybody or spend more than two minutes with any person.

Drew: Kind of true, especially ours. We had a time limit in the building, basically. You’re just on a train track, and it goes by really fast. You get enough. You get to talk to people if you make the time to do it, but not any meaningful conversations or anything like that.

John: One of the things I actually really enjoyed about your wedding, so your wedding was from 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. at this historic building. You were out the door at 10:00 p.m., literally, like, “Lights are on. You gotta leave.” I really enjoyed that about your wedding, because I’ve found so many weddings, I don’t know when it’s time to leave, or the people are hanging on too late, and you feel like you have to stick around. It’s like, “Nope. You gotta go.” You and Heather also provided electrolytes to put in our water bottles as we left. Delicious. I was not hung over the next day.

Drew: Those are great.

John: Good choices.

Drew: Especially with an open bar too, you want to make sure that they’re-

John: The open bar is a considerable expense. It wasn’t as much as your catering, but it was not a cheap open bar.

Drew: It was part of the catering, but yeah, that was a little bit more. That was important for my parents. I think that was their must-have. It was great. I think food and bar were the most expensive part of the whole thing. I’m very good with that, because it’s kind of like being on a set. Honestly, the whole thing ends up feeling like a production. Especially if everybody’s fed, if there’s food all the time, and there’s drinks, everybody’s happy. If anything falls apart, no one cares.

John: I’ve been to 43 weddings or something, and a huge range of how they were staged. The successful weddings for me are definitely the ones where I felt like, “Oh, this couple’s in love. They’re doing it for the right reasons. They’re doing this for themselves. They’re enjoying their day.” It didn’t matter whether it was in someone’s backyard or at a very fancy resort if it felt like they are doing this because they want to have this great experience, and they want to share this great experience with a bunch of people who are really close to them. That’s what your wedding had.

It’s also what makes me happy when I see it is the weddings that really prioritize what is going to be great for this couple as they head off into their next thing, what’s going to create memories that they’re going to be excited about, rather than showcase weddings that are just whatever.

Drew: I don’t think we would’ve been good with a showcase one. I think with each decision, as long as it’s personal to you, the cumulative effect ends up being a very personal wedding. At the same time, we didn’t want it to just feel like it’s just for us and no one else, because you’ve definitely been to weddings where it feels that too, where it’s almost like the couple are in their own world. It feels not contempt that you’re there, but there’s like, “It’s you and me against the world.” You’re like, “We’re here too.”

John: “We’re on your team. We drove here.”

Drew: “We did a lot. I put on a tie.” We didn’t want it to feel that way either. You want the songs to be fun and danceable. Heather and I are nerds for all sorts of music. You start to cut some of those favorites away, just because it’s an odd beat to dance to. It’s all balance. It’s so stressful, but it ends up being fine. You worry about every little choice. I can’t imagine the people who have also other people in their ear telling them about things too. That’s a whole other level that I’m very lucky we didn’t have. Then the day comes, and it’s fine, and everyone’s pitching in to make it the best.

John: You had the disposable cameras on the table. Mike and I are of course very good students who make sure that every photo’s taken. We got to make sure we got everything documented. You also had a photographer there to shoot. Obviously, in a wedding you’re going to think about photography. To me, most important for our wedding and other events I’ve been to is you want somebody who’s good at actually filming what’s happening and shooting what’s actually happening and not just about the staged things. Because you didn’t have a wedding party, you didn’t have to do all that other stuff. It’s just like, what did the night feel like? The thing I loved so much about our wedding is we have a good compiled book of just the photos from the wedding that really feel like that night.

Drew: I think that was super important for both Heather and I is that it felt like is and it all felt real. We had a fairly journalist photographer. We had those disposable cameras. Even Heather had to really talk her makeup artist back from doing the full bridal makeup, because we didn’t want it to feel like this staged thing. We got pictures with everyone. We made sure that all the boxes were checked, and everyone will have those things, but that you can hopefully feel the energy when you look back on it.

I also didn’t want a videographer. This might be controversial. But there’s something better about looking at pictures and remembering than actually seeing. The few videos I’ve seen of myself dancing on the dance floor, I hate. I can’t do it. The pictures are good. The pictures look very fun. It’s how I want to remember it. You can fill in the blanks as opposed to seeing the stark reality.

John: 100%. Congratulations again. First and hopefully last wedding you’ll be through for yourself.

Drew: Thank you for being there. It was great.

Links:

  • Oppenheimer: The Official Screenplay by Christopher Nolan
  • WGA Appendix A
  • An Extremely Detailed Map of New York City Neighborhoods by Larry Buchanan, Josh Katz, Rumsey Taylor and Eve Washington for the New York Times
  • TFI Photo Lab in Danvers, MA
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram and Twitter
  • John on Mastodon
  • Outro by Nico Mansy (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@dev.johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 617: Monsters and You, Transcript

November 30, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is Episode 617 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Craig, happy Halloween.

Craig: Yes, the spookiest day of spooky season has arrived.

John: Indeed.

Craig: Really, as we were saying earlier, this is the only spooky time you and I recognize, today, Halloween.

John: Today.

Craig: That’s it.

John: Today is the day.

Craig: That’s it.

John: I think it’s good we have a Halloween. I think we need a day of fear and merriment. I don’t know. I’m glad this has persisted into our increasingly Christian world.

Craig: All of our best holidays are pagan, including all the good Christian ones. For instance, Christmas is-

John: Christmas.

Craig: … definitely the winter solstice celebration, with its tree.

John: Indeed.

Craig: Easter is obviously the pagan spring fertility holiday with its bunny rabbits and eggs.

John: Obviously, it fit so naturally into the story of Christ’s resurrection.

Craig: Jesus would talk about rabbits all the time.

John: All the time.

Craig: Pagans really gave us all of our good stuff. Halloween is purely pagan. The Christians didn’t get around to Christianifying it. That’s why a bunch of, I don’t know, Southern Baptist churches are anti-Halloween. You know what? The only thing, as a language purist, that I would do to improve Halloween is popularizing the correct apostrophe between the two E’s, Hallowe’en.

John: We’en.

Craig: It’s not going to happen.

John: It’s never going to happen. It’d be fun to do it, but also it feels like you’re just one of those too-fancy people. It feels like you’re The New Yorker magazine type. You are The New Yorker when you’re putting the-

Craig: It’s a New Yorker thing to do. It is, yeah, to put the umlaut over the second O of corroborate.

John: The diaeresis mark, yeah, for sure.

Craig: I love it. I love it.

John: It’s so good. It’s good.

Craig: Oh, New Yorker.

John: Today on the show, what are monsters, really? We’ll discuss the functions they perform in film and TV and how they differ from traditional villains. Plus, we’ll talk about how the trappings of narrative, including good and evil, are applied to real life news. In our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, Craig, let’s journey back to the old internet and discuss what was lost and whether it matters. We’ll be going through a new internet archive that traces back to the early days of even before the web.

Craig: Oh, wow, pre-web stuff. Okay.

John: Pre-web stuff.

Craig: In my brain, I was thinking about that little man with the hard hat and the sign that said under “construction,” which every website used to be.

John: Yes, but before that we had ARPANET. We had Usenet groups. We had all those little things. We’ll talk a bit about that. It’s a whole little museum that we can click through some slides for.

Craig: Great.

John: Good, fun times. First, we have some follow-up. Back in Episode 615 we talked about aphantasia, which is where people do not have the ability to visualize. We speculated, what is it like to be a writer, specifically a screenwriter, if you don’t have that ability to visualize. Luckily, we have the best listeners in the entire universe, and two of them wrote in with their experiences having aphantasia and writing.

Drew Marquardt: Tim says, “Think of it as having a mind’s eye that works as code instead of rendered visuals. If I’m thinking of a room and the objects within it, I’m thinking about the concepts of those things, and with effort, my imagination holds them relative to each other in a virtual space, not just as a list. Spatial awareness of a story world is pretty essential, but from what my experience and what I’ve read, I don’t think this is something that aphantasia rules out. But seeing that world in crisp HD visuals or not having to consciously think of every detail and texture is part of your imaginary process, it probably is. Similarly, lacking an inner monologue doesn’t stop me imagining a conversation. That’s probably why I take pleasure in writing.”

John: It sounds like Tim has both aphantasia and the lack of an inner monologue, and he still gets writing done. He still seems to be able to create scenes. I think Tim’s expectation is that you and I, Craig, are seeing everything in full HD videos in our heads. That’s not my experience. I don’t know what it is for you.

Craig: No, it’s far more mushy than that. It does strike me that one of the quirks of our brains is that when we’re asked to talk about things our brains can’t do, we don’t really know. It’s kind of like asking somebody who is colorblind to talk about their relative ease or difficulty moving through the world. Sometimes you just don’t know.

There are things where it’s like, okay, it’s not that I can’t do something, but if I don’t see it, I don’t know what I’m missing. I think that that applies to everybody. Everybody’s brain operates under basic D and D point array rules. You get a certain amount of points to put in your six ability categories. We all have things where we have more points than others.

Funny, I was talking about this just yesterday with somebody that on the IQ tests where you would have to fold boxes, I’m terrible. I just really struggle with that. I never think about it as I go through life, because I don’t actually know what I’m missing. I am sure that people who have excellent ability to do things like that simply experience the world in a slightly richer way than I do. Doesn’t mean better. Just richer, meaning fuller, more detail, more information.

The fact is, Tim is absolutely right. You can get by. You can do these things. My guess is that there are probably some areas where his ability stats are higher than mine because points didn’t go into visual awareness or internal visual conception.

John: It’s interesting you bring up IQ tests, because I believe that one of the biggest criticisms of the classic IQ tests is that they over-reward certain, very specific pattern-matching and visual abilities, to the detriment of other things, like language or, obviously, emotional intelligence, other ways in which you measure intelligence, because as I do think back to the IQ-like tests that I took as a child, they were a lot of folding boxes or figuring out the next thing in a sequence, that were largely visual. I do wonder if that’s a thing.

I’m also struck by the fact that whenever we’re talking about what our brains are doing, we are talking about them, we are writing about them, we are using our language faculties to do it. That is, of course, an abstraction from what we’re actually really experiencing. The degree to which we use language as a proxy for all other aspects of consciousness is one of the real challenges in our inability to communicate what something is like other than with our words.

Craig: Yeah. It may be that language is consciousness, that the thing you’re describing as the conversion process is the process, that all of our consciousness is just a language-ified experience. This now wanders into areas beyond our expertise.

John: I think that’s safe to say, and sometimes beyond scientific expertise. I think you sometimes do wander into philosophical areas here, where they’re just not a good place to say here. We do have some more concrete examples from another listener, Matthew, who talks about his writing process with aphantasia.

Drew: Matthew says, “I start much as anyone else might, with a log line, then an outline. I will then create a visual outline of the movie, sort of like a lookbook. I’ll source all sorts of images that illustrate almost every scene of the movie. This helps me, pre script face, to really visualize the feeling and vibe I’m going for. I need to lay out all the visuals of the film to really get a sense of the whole thing, because it can be a little daunting starting a project and seeing nothing when you close your eyes.”

Craig: I get this, Matthew, completely. I think, first of all, it’s a very smart way of approaching it. What you do find when you get out of the world of just writing and into the world of writing for production, that very soon, everyone around you is going to start pulling these visuals out. Why? Because they’re trying to get in your head. They’ve read your script, they see what you’re describing as best as you could, and now they’re trying to create a common language with you. What you’re doing is you’re creating a common language to start with. It’s very helpful for other people.

I also know what you mean when you say it can be a little daunting starting a project and seeing nothing when you close your eyes, even though I see lots when I close my eyes when I’m starting writing.

What I have noticed – and this is all fresh and current to me now because I’m in prep – when it’s time to, say, storyboard a sequence, it’s very difficult for me to storyboard it in the abstract. But if I can go to where we are shooting it, if it’s a location, or sometimes I’ll have the art department tape it out on the floor of the stage – just tape it out, just so I can have, again, a D and D style overhead map kind of view – it really helps me then go from there into angles and ideas. For me, at least, I find it hard and also sometimes counterproductive, even, to just start pulling stuff out of my butt and putting it into storyboard. I get that feeling. I think this is a very smart way of approaching it.

John: We’re talking about the difference between abstract visualizations versus concrete and where you fall on that spectrum. It occurs to me, Craig, that over the time that we’ve played D and D, we’ve played in a whole range of levels in abstraction. We’ve played theater of the mind. We’re just like, okay, we’re all in this space. We’re not going to put figurines down on the tabletop. We know whose turn it is. We know roughly where people are.

You had, at some point, backed a Kickstarter or something with this giant 3D models that you assembled on a tabletop, where we were moving stuff around. It was incredibly tactile. You could see exactly where we were at. You could measure with a ruler to see how close we were. Other times, we’ve done the grid, where we just have erasable markers to show the edges of boundaries of things.

Now, we’re increasingly doing this top-down view in Roll20. Some of the maps you’ve been using, especially in this last campaign, are incredibly detailed, with textures and pools of blood and all that stuff. I don’t know. It feels much more concrete, and it requires less work in all of our brains to imagine where we are in space.

Looking ahead to the upcoming things, it feels much that there are 3D systems coming up there. Baldur’s Gate is a D and D game that is incredibly detailed and 3D. I do wonder how that changes our experience of the game and how it changes how we’re approaching things, when it’s not just a collective improv. We’re all imagining we’re in a space together, but we are literally seeing the space together.

Craig: I’m always one to go for that. I like to go toward that, because I do think it fleshes the experience out. It makes it exciting. Of course, what happens is once the novelty wears off, everything turns back into the same thing.

Thinking about video games, they’re so much more detailed and beautiful now, but when you’re playing, it’s not like my dopamine levels are 400% higher than they were back when I was on a Nintendo 64. They’re not. The play ultimately reduces back into the joy of the play and not so much the joy of the enhancement of the visuals, but I do like those things. It’s actually why I don’t get grouchy about, “In my day, we used to have to use our imaginations.” We’re all using our imaginations anyway. It is all imaginative.

It’s just more exciting to see a fireball explode than to just have somebody go, “A fireball goes off,” and then we’re all like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much damage did I take?” At least now we get to see something go kaboom, which is fun.

John: When I was playing one of these recent games – it could’ve been the most recent Diablo – I was trucking through something, and at some point I felt kind of guilty, because these were gorgeous landscapes that I was running through, and I was not paying any attention to these gorgeous landscapes at all, because I was just tracking the little mini map or my quest.

That’s an experience in real life as well, where you don’t notice what’s outside your window, because you’re focusing on some other thing. There’s a trade-off to be made in terms of how we generalize past this real-world experience to play the game. Whether it’s literally a video game or how we’re getting through life, we don’t stop to appreciate how pretty things are outside.

Craig: Smell the roses.

John: Yeah. We have one last bit of follow-up here. Laya in Serbia wrote in about Aaron Sorkin.

Drew: Laya wrote in to share that, “Aaron Sorkin said on BBC’s This Cultural Life podcast that when he is writing, he can hear a scene perfectly, he can hear the dialog, but, quote, ‘It is at the expense of seeing the scene. I don’t think visually at all.'”

Craig: That’s not wildly surprising, given that Aaron Sorkin’s strength, the thing that sets him apart, is his wonderful dialog. If you were to say to me, name a writer that is known for their dialog, I would just say Aaron Sorkin. If you look at the famous courtroom confrontation in A Few Good Men, they’re in a wooden rectangle, and one of them’s standing. One of them’s sitting. The visuals are not relevant.

It’s one of the reasons why Fincher I thought was such a wonderful pairing with Sorkin for Social Network, because Fincher is so brilliantly visual. What I love about him as a director is, his visual sense, his cinematic sense is not showy. It’s not about, “Look at my crazy angles. Look at my cool stuff. Look at all my neato tricks.” It’s composition. It’s composition. It’s depth. It’s knowing where the camera ought to be in connection to relationship. He’s so good at that. The combination of his eye and Sorkin’s language in Social Network just elevated that. It’s such a great film.

John: I’m trying to think through Sorkin films or things that were for television where not just silence, but characters in a place, not talking were crucial story elements. Not a lot of them leap to mind. I think these are always characters, the joke is that they’re always walking circles, but they are always talking. I’m having a hard time remembering crucial moments in Sorkin’s stories that weren’t about the talking.

Craig: He populates his work with characters who express themselves verbally. If I think about Social Network, and I think about the characters in there, Mark Zuckerberg expresses himself verbally, Andrew Garfield’s character, the lawyers, the Winklvii, everyone. There’s a wonderful scene in Social Network where the Winklevoss twins go to see Larry Summers, the then-president of Harvard. That scene is – I hope you’re sitting down – rat-a-tat, incredibly intelligent dialog. It is two people sitting across from another person. Even Larry Summers’s assistant, who’s sitting at another desk, she seems brilliant.

Everybody is at an IQ of 180, and their verbal scores are 800 on that achievement test. Everyone is just witty and smart and fast. They think fast. They talk fast. Everyone’s sentences are complete. Is it mannered? I guess. But it’s entertaining. His intelligence is entertaining, and he’s witty, so it just works.

John: In Social Network, there is a sequence where the Winklevii are at the Regatta, and so the sequence of rowing, and that’s beautifully done. I also wonder how many times it was nearly cut, because it’s actually not especially relevant to the film. That’s a non-dialog sequence I can recall in that film, and it’s one of the very few.

Craig: It’s beautiful.

John: Beautiful.

Craig: I remember when I saw it. It uses that tilt-shift method where it makes things almost look like they’re in a diorama or something. I do remember in the theater thinking, this was certainly not written down like this. The combination of the music and the photographic style and the way it was working, it just felt very visual. That’s not to say that screenplays don’t normally have scenes like that. If I’m writing a movie, and I want a scene like that, I write it.

John: My scripts are full of those scenes.

Craig: Maybe I’m wrong, but I would be surprised if Aaron Sorkin wrote that in that way, because like he says, he can hear it, but he doesn’t think visually at all. I don’t know how you get to that if you don’t.

John: We have two bits of follow-up. We’ve talked about Craig’s diabetes. In Episode 615, we were talking about the degree to which a person who’s diabetic should tick a box for disabled and to what degree you need to bring it up. We had two listeners write in about that.

Craig: Great.

Drew: First is from Mick, who is a type 1 diabetic. He’s been working in production for over 20 years. He says, “When I first started working in the industry, I mostly didn’t tell anyone. It was just easier not to have to explain the intricacies of managing such a complex medical condition, and my goal was that I was not defined by it.

“Looking back, I can see how much easier it would’ve been if I let my employers know earlier, especially since diabetes management is built around consistent timing for meals and insulin and controlled output of energy and exercise. I eat pretty much the exact opposite of the chaotic nature of life on set. I experienced delayed insulin shots and low blood sugar levels due to production meetings that ran hours longer than scheduled, on-set catering that only included high-sugar foods or soft drinks, and shoot schedules that didn’t accommodate time to check blood glucose levels, or when the mealtimes are completely out of line with my dietary schedule.

“Now, I always let colleagues know in advance, but I also ensure that I have everything I need to self-manage. I found that people are always compassionate and genuinely keen to ensure that I am okay. There’s also the duty of disclosure to consider, should any diabetes-related health and safety situations arise on set.

“Fortunately, the tools available for diabetes management now, such as continuous glucose meters, have made everything easier as a TV professional. Writers’ rooms really shouldn’t be catered exclusively with candy and soda, for everyone’s benefit.”

Craig: Here here. Mick has been dealing with, we’ll call it proper, complicated type 1 diabetes for a long time. I’m dealing with non-complicated type 1 diabetes for a bit, and then eventually, it will be complicated. When it does, this will definitely be part of figuring things out. There are certain things that even now I know I have to make sure of. What I have to make sure of is that I do have high-protein, low-carb bars, things like that around. The people that work with me know that when it’s time for lunch, if everybody’s getting pasta, we’re going to have to find something else for me.

He’s right. Look, I’m the boss. I’m going to acknowledge this. Of course everyone’s super compassionate with me. They have to be. But it’s good to hear that when you’re not the boss, they’re also compassionate. I think people in general really do want to help people that have a health requirement like this. It is also important that people do know, because once you do start getting on the insulin train, there are times where your blood sugar can go too low. That is a very dangerous situation.

I don’t know, John. You and I don’t really spend much time in writers’ rooms, but I would be surprised if the modern day writers’ room really is just candy and soda. Everybody seems so health-conscious in LA.

John: In the time you were doing the first season of The Last of Us, I had a bunch of other showrunners on, and we were just talking through the writers’ rooms processes. They’re so different from show to show to show. Some of them are largely still virtual. Some are back in person. Some are trying to really limit the hours down. They start at 10:00, and they’re done by 4:00, and it’s really straightforward.

I think a consistent thing I’ve heard is that people are more mindful of what’s happening in that room. I think snacks are part of that, and so making sure that people have the right choices. Also, what Mick is saying, you also bring your own. It’s a combination of making sure that the room is set up properly, but also that people feel free to self-cater as they need to, to make sure they have what they need.

Craig: I will say one of the things that Mick is dead-on about is that continuous glucose monitoring really has changed so much, because you don’t have to wonder what’s going on.

John: Exactly.

Craig: You don’t have to go, “Oh, I don’t feel so good. Maybe I should stick a thing in my finger, put some blood on a thing, put it in the thing.” No. Your phone goes bleep bleep bleep, and it goes, “Hey, FYI, it’s going up. It’s going down.” It really does save you a lot of misery. It’s a great safety net.

John: Craig, just because I don’t know the terms properly, is complicated versus non-complicated, does that come down to whether you’re having to inject insulin?

Craig: That’s a Craig term. Yes, it really does come down to are you injecting insulin or do you have an insulin pump or not. For people who are diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as adults, there often is a time period where you’re still heading towards that place, but you’re not there yet, but you get there. Once you’re dealing with insulin, it just is more complicated, although even now, there are these closed-loop systems where you have a pump, and the pump and the continuous glucose monitor talk to each other. The pump turns on when it feels like you need some, and it’s not on when you don’t. Now you’ve got a thing that you’re wearing that has a tube that goes into you with a little port. It’s a thing. It’s a thing.

John: Also in the episode, we were talking about whether you tick that box or feeling like you’re taking resources away from other people. Teresa wrote in with her opinion on that.

Craig: Great.

Drew: Teresa says, “To address taking resources away from those who really need it, that’s exactly why one should claim the disabled label regardless of what they personally do or don’t need themselves. It’s like the reason behind a Census. You count certain demographics, so you know what resources need to be allotted in which places. If people don’t count themselves as members of all their communities, those communities might not be allotted enough resources where they are. Inclusion isn’t about waiting for disabled people to show up to tell you what they need before you start thinking about it. It’s about creating environments that allow disabled people to see themselves there in the first place and want to be there. You don’t have to need an accommodation immediately for it to be good to have available. When you need it is usually too late to ask.”

Craig: That’s fair. I guess, Teresa, I should be a little more nuanced in my ticking the box thing, because you’re right, when it is a question of taking a Census and feeling out how many people of a certain category a larger group has, no question. For instance, when I apply for, let’s say, a membership into a large group, and there is a… I just did this the other day, and there was a section that just said do you have a disability. I checked yes, because there’s not a specific resource that they’re offering me that I might take. That is very much about census-taking and about establishing a broad base of need.

Where I struggle a bit is when there is specifically something that is being reserved for somebody with a disability. My understanding is there will be plenty of people applying for this, that there will be more applicants than resource. If there are more applicants than resource, and the resource is established, then I’m going to go ahead and not tick the box, because I don’t want to take that resource from somebody that needs it more than I do.

It is nuanced. I recognize your point. I think it’s an excellent point, Teresa. I try and tick the box when I feel like it’s about standing up and being counted, as you say. I try to not tick the box when it’s the equivalent of a scholarship for a disabled person. At that point, I don’t feel good about claiming that scholarship.

John: I think it’s worth noting that in many cases you are going to have the opportunity to individually mark what the disability is or what that condition is that is notable, so that if there is a situation where we are looking for… I’m thinking in the case of writers. There are situations where you’re looking specifically for blind writers who have that experience, because you’re working on a show where that could be very, very helpful. If you just had a broad category for disabled, then you’re going to have hard time finding who is the person who has the specific experience that I need to have in that writers’ room and who’s fantastic.

I agree with Craig in that sense of, if there’s a broad census of who in America has a disability, it’s going to be a very large percentage of Americans. That’s not necessarily taking resources away from anything. In many cases, it may just be increasing the awareness that we need to have resources available.

Craig: Here’s a question for you, John, and something I’ve been thinking about lately, and even in the census aspect of it. You get a sheet, and it says, hey, what’s your race, what’s this, what’s your sexuality, and you check off gay. Do you ever think to yourself, they’re going to be patting themselves on their back for getting a gay person in, but really, they haven’t actually done anything, that this is about them making themselves feel good? Because I had that feeling when I saw this disabled box. I’m like, you’re getting away with murder here, aren’t you? Do you know what I mean?

John: Yes, I do know what you mean. In my specific career, I’ve not felt like it’s ever been a huge asset or liability for me to be openly gay, which is fantastic and wonderful. I’m lucky to have come into the industry when I did.

I’m also acknowledging the fact I present very straight. I don’t present especially queer, in a way that makes it very easy for people to ignore it. I do have to consciously out myself early in working relationships at times, just so people know and so people don’t accidentally say something that feels really awkward for anybody.

Craig: Someone may accidentally say a bad thing they shouldn’t be saying.

John: Yes, that. Being married is really helpful, because I could say “my husband” and that does a lot of the work. Back to my earlier point that the specificity is really, really helpful, the fact that I’m a gay person doesn’t make me better qualified to tell a story of indigenous trans youth. It doesn’t make me better qualified for a lot of specific story scenarios in which you want to have somebody whose experience better matches what it is you’re trying to tell.

That’s why I like that even the WGA’s surveys and how you fill out your boxes in terms of what you identify as, it does get more granular than that, so people can actually look for characteristics that match what they need.

Craig: I guess all this is to say it’s tricky, because when you’re dealing with trying to improve inclusion and representation, when the groups themselves are not particularly native to the inclusion or the reproduction, you can sometimes feel like you’re being farmed. That’s a weird feeling. On the other hand, that needs to happen, or that group isn’t going to change. We all have to make our peace with the queasiness of some of these things, I think, in order to make sure that other people are helped.

The one thing that it’s nice to have this show, is that you and I can talk about these things, and in its own way, we do make people aware of these things. We do confront them, in a nice, passive way, because we’re not in the room with them. They can hear these things. For those people who are doing hiring or surveying or awarding limited resources, I think this is a nice, civil discussion to have. It doesn’t need to be fraught with emotion or drama. It just has to be looked at with open eyes.

There are quite a few programs in our business that are mentorship programs for writers of color, or in some of the development programs that they have at Warner Bros or Universal. I can’t remember quite the name of those. In some point it becomes a catchall for, it’s for not straight white people.

John: Under-represented groups is classically how you’d [crosstalk 00:29:25] those.

Craig: Not straight, white, able-bodied people. The resource management really does make these things sticky. I like talking about them. I think that we’re all a bit nervous sometimes to talk about these things, because the general tenor of discussion on the internet is a full-on shit show. It just doesn’t matter what you say or what you do. It devolves almost instantly. That’s a shame, but also good to remind each other that most productive conversations about anything do not happen on the internet, do not happen on social media at all. That is the equivalent of, it’s 1:00 a.m. in a crowded bar, and people have been talking about politics, and they’re just screaming drunkenly at each other.

Calmly, in other places, rational people can really open each other’s eyes about these things. It’s one of the reasons I appreciate Teresa writing in, because she’s making a really interesting point. I guess on my own path, I’ll have to figure it out.

John: This whole conversation we’ve been having about whether to mark the box for disabled or whether to mark the box for LGBT is really familiar and probably almost passe for… I have friends who were agonizing over, they are Latino, but they would not normally identify as Latino, and so the question of how Latino do you need to be in order to mark that box, as we talked about in my One Cool Thing last week, the whole notion of Hispanic, Latino, or Latinx is a shifting target. The exact same things we brought up, that Teresa brought up, in terms of it’s good to tick the box for census reasons, but also are you taking resources away, these are questions we’re always going to be grappling with.

Craig: Grapple we shall together, but good that we are grappling. It’s a positive sign. It used to be when you and I were kids that no one talked about any of this, and you were out of luck. These are good developments, believe it or not.

John: I think they are. Let’s move on to our main topic today, which is monsters. I thought about this because three of the projects I’m currently working on have monsters in them to some degree. We’ve talked on the show a lot about antagonists and villains, but I don’t recall us ever really getting into monsters per se, which means we probably need to describe what we mean by monsters.

In my head, I’m thinking basically non-human characters that, while they may have some intelligence, are not villains in the sense that they have classic motivations and who can interact with other characters around them the way that human characters can. I was grouping them into three big buckets. But I’m curious, before we get into that, if you have a definition of monster that might be different than that.

Craig: Monster to me is either a non-human or an altered human, a human that has been changed into something that is not human, that has both extraordinary ability compared to a human, and also presents danger to regular humans.

John: That feels fair. The kinds of monsters I’m talking about, I have three broad categories, and think we can think of more than that, but they’re primal monsters, which I would say are things that resemble our animals, our beasts, but just taken to a bigger extreme. Your sharks, your bears, your wolves could be monsters, any giant version of a normal animal. They tend to be predators. Werewolves in their werewolf form feel like a primal monster. The aliens in Alien feel like that kind of primal monster.

Craig: Dinosaurs.

John: Dinosaurs, absolutely. In D and D terms, we’d say that they are generally neutral. You can’t even really call them evil, because they’re just doing what they do. Evil requires some kind of calculation that they don’t have.

Craig: They’re instinctive. It’s the aliens in Alien I suppose. We’ll get some angry letters from Alien fans, but those creatures do seem like they are driven by such a pure Darwinism that it is no longer a question of morality. They are simply following their instinct to dominate.

John: We have another category I would say are the manmade monsters. These are killers robots, Frankenstein’s monster. Of course, that monster does have some motivation beyond its thing, but any sort of Gollum-y kind of creature. Some zombies I would say are manmade. It depends on what causes them to become those monsters. Craig, would you say that the creatures in The Last of Us, would you call them monsters?

Craig: They are altered humans, yes, but they’re monsters. There’s no question. Part of what we try and do is, when we can illicit some at least, if not sympathy, a reminder that they are not to blame. They’re sick. They are no longer in control of their bodies. They’re no longer in control of what they do. The fact is, no matter how hard we try and do that, they’re behaving monstrously. They are monsters. More importantly, when you look at their provenance from the video game, they look like monsters, and we want them to. There are more monsters coming.

John: Of course. I know. I’m excited to see more monsters.

Craig: More monsters.

John: The last bucket I would throw things into would be called the supernatural. There you have all the Lovecraftian creatures. There’s other kinds of zombies that are… It’s not human-made that created them. They’re shambling mounds of things. Your mummies, at least your mummies who are not speaking mummies, but the classic stumble forward mummies.

Craig: Muhhh mummy.

John: You got your gargoyles. You have some demons or devils, the ones that aren’t talking. It really does come down to, if they have the ability to use language that our characters can understand, I’m not throwing them in the monster bucket.

Craig: To me, a vampire is a monster.

John: It’s really a question though of agency. It’s so driven by its need to feed that it no longer has the inability to interact with the characters around it, because a lot of vampires are talking, and they are doing things. They can function much more like classic villains rather than monsters, as opposed to a werewolf, who we’re used to being just fully in beast mode.

Craig: That’s why vampires are so fascinating, I think, because they present as human. They can absolutely have a conversation with you. All the good ones do. Not only do they have conversations with you, they seduce you and they romance you. Then they also give in to this hunger that is feral and savage. They sometimes turn into bats or fog or a big swarm of rats, which is my favorite. They are certainly supernatural. They are nearly immortal. What I love about vampires is that they are a presentation of the monster within.

Jekyll and Hyde, Dr. Jekyll is a human, and Hyde is a monster, but they are the same person. That is fascinating, because then it starts getting into the whole point of monsters, I think, which is a reflection of our worst selves.

John: Absolutely. I think these characters that are on the boundaries between a villain who could choose to stop and a monster who could not choose to stop are sometimes the most fascinating antagonists we can put our characters up against. In some cases, we’re centering the story around them, so they are not the villain. They are actually the main character. Once upon a time I worked on Dark Shadows, and of course that has a vampire at its center who does monstrous things, but I think most people would not identify as being a monster.

Craig: There are all different ones. It’s funny, when you look at the traditional Dracula, the Bram Stoker original Dracula, and when you look at Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster, they’re both literate. In particular, Frankenstein’s monster in the novel, I think he speaks two languages. I think he speaks English and French. He’s remarkably literate and thoughtful.

The reason Dracula is so dangerous is because he’s so smart. He slowly and carefully manages to eat most of the people aboard a ship that’s crossing to England without anybody noticing, because he’s really clever. It’s funny how we kept that with Dracula. We said, okay, Dracula, you’re the or vampire, and all the vampires after you, most of them are going to follow this method of, “My darling, I want to suck your blood.”

Frankenstein, I don’t know, somebody read that novel, like, “You know what? What if this monster doesn’t speak two languages? What if it speaks no languages, is six foot eight, and just groans a lot? That’s better. Let’s do that.”

John: “Let’s do that.” When we think about villains, we often talk about villain motivation. It’s worth thinking about monster motivation, because there’s going to be some overlap, but I think a lot of cases, these monsters function more like animals, more like beasts. You have to think about what does an animal want.

We talk about the four Fs, five Fs, in terms of those primal motivating factors: self-preservation, propagation, protection of an important asset – so they’re there to defend a thing – hunger or greed – classic – and revenge to a certain degree. I would say that the alien queen in Aliens, in the end she has a very specific focus and animus towards Ripley because of what Ripley did. It goes beyond just the need to propagate. She’s after her for a very specific reason.

Craig: That’s where it sometimes can get stupid. It doesn’t in that movie, but Jaws 3 I think famously, “This time it’s personal.” No, it’s not. It’s a fricking shark. It doesn’t know you. It’s just food. Obviously, the aliens in Aliens are quite clever. They are not merely savage and feral. You don’t expect that they’re sitting there doing math. They’re the forerunners of the way we portrayed velociraptors in Jurassic Park. The idea of the smart monster, maybe not as smart as a human in their general sense, but very smart predatorially, that’s really interesting to see that. But when it starts getting personal with a dumb monster, it can get really silly

John: Craig, what is your opinion on human monsters? I could think of Jason Voorhess in a slasher film. Is that a villain? Is that a monster? To what degree can we think of some of these human characters as monsters rather than classic villains?

Craig: I think they’re monsters. I think they’re monsters, because they wear masks. Jason Voorhees wears a hockey mask. Michael Myers in Halloween wears, I believe it’s a-

John: Captain Kirk mask.

Craig: … Captain Kirk mask, a William Shatner death mask, even though William Shatner’s still alive. Those masks are what make the monsters. Their humanity is gone. When you look at how they move… And obviously, look, let’s just say it: Jason Voorhees was just a ripoff of Michael Myers. That’s pretty obvious. They are a large, shambling, seemingly feelingless, numb creature that has way more strength than a normal human ever would. They don’t really run. They don’t need to. They represent your own mortality. It’s coming. There’s nothing you can do. That is a nightmarish feeling. In their way, they are large zombies. They don’t speak. They just kill. We don’t even really understand why they’re killing. Somebody eventually will explain it, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s not like you can have a conversation with Jason Voorhees and say, “With some therapy, I think you’ll stop killing.” No. No no no. Jason will keep killing. I think of them as monsters, for sure.

John: One of the projects I’m working on, I’m grappling with the issues of what this monstrous character actually wants, what the endgame is. I keep coming back to the Lovecraftian, there is no answer. There’s only the void. There’s that sense of sometimes the most terrifying thing is actually that there is no answer, that the universe is unfeeling, and they just want to smash it and destroy it. It’s challenging, because without a character who can actually say that, without a way to put that out there, the monster themselves can’t communicate that. As I’m outlining this, I’m recognizing that that’s going to be a thing that we need to be able to expose to the audience in a way that the creature themselves can’t.

Craig: That is a challenge. It is certainly easy enough for the pursued characters to ruminate and speculate as to why this thing is doing what it wants to do. That will just remain what it is, which is speculation. The whole point of speculation is we’ll never know. Yes, it is hard to figure out how to get that motivation across when it’s nonverbal and non-planning. The case of Aliens, you can just tell, they’re predators. They are doing what the apex predator’s supposed to do: win. They just want to win.

John: Of course, as we look at Predator, the question of whether you call that a monster or a villain, the motivation behind the Predator we learn very early on is they are trophy hunters. Literally, they are just to bag some other creatures, because that’s what they do. It’s not entirely clear whether it’s just rich people of that species doing a thing or if it’s an important rite of passage. Are they on safari?

Craig: I love the idea is on Predator planet, they have social media. Everybody has normal jobs. Some people are accountants or whatever. Some people work at the Predator McDonald’s. Jerk Predators go to other planets to bag trophies. They then put a picture up of like, “Look at Jesse Ventura’s head.” Then other people online are like, “You’re sick. You’re sick. There’s something wrong with you that you feel the need to go these places and kill these beautiful animals.”

John: Absolutely. For all we know, it’s like Donald Trump Jr.-

Craig: Exactly.

John: … is the equivalent of a [indiscernible 00:44:20] scene in these Predator movies. Someone who obviously has a familiarity with the whole canon – and I’m not sure how established the canon really is – can maybe tell us what the true answer is here. But my feeling has always been that this wasn’t a necessary cultural function, that they were doing this thing, that they were doing it because they wanted to.

Craig: It was hunting.

John: It’s hunting.

Craig: It was pointless hunting. In that case, they really are villains. That’s like a mute villain, because the Predator is very much calculating, thinking, planning, prioritizing. He doesn’t speak because he doesn’t speak our language, not because he doesn’t speak. If we understood the clicky bits, then we would know that he was saying stuff.

John: I’ll wrap this up with, it’s important sometimes to think about how we must seem to other creatures in our world right now. Think if you’re an ant or an ant colony, and an eight-year-old boy comes along. That is a monster. It has no understanding of you. It has no feeling for you. That eight-year-old boy is just a T-rex, and you have to run from it. You’re not looking at that as a villain. That is truly, fully a monster. Sometimes reversing that can get you some insight into what it must feel like to be encountering these kind of creatures.

Craig: There’s a certain godlike quality to them when they are that much more powerful than we are. It’s why superhero movies have escalated their own internal arms race to intergalactic proportions, because it’s not enough for people to be beset by godlike monster-humans. At some point, you need them to be fought with by good monster-humans. Then it just goes from there. When you’re creating some sort of grounded thing, you’re absolutely right, the notion that what’s pursuing… And Predator actually did this very well.

John: Agreed.

Craig: It’s a good movie.

John: It’s a good movie. Agreed. I really liked Prey as well, the most recent version of it.

Craig: You get the sense that the people in it are impressed. They start to realize that this guy is better than them in every way. The only way you’re going to beat it is if you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger, aka better than all of us. It’s a pretty apt comparison.

John: That’s some thinking about monsters. Let’s talk for a few minutes about this question that Boots Riley, he wrote in. Friend of the show Boots Riley wrote in to ask-

Craig: Great.

John: … “You guys should do a show about how certain screenwriting cliches, good and evil, are used by news media narratives. What details are left out because it takes away from the characterization they want to make? Whose POV? Where do you start the story?” Obviously, we’re recording this in 2023, October.

Craig: There seems to be some arguments going online about things.

John: Gaza is the most recent phenomenon that we can see this in, but that’s always been the case. Looking back to 9/11 or looking back to any moment at which we’ve had big upheavals in the news, you end up picking heroes and villains. You end up picking good and evil. You end up just having things on two different sides. It’s hard to then see the subtlety in what’s actually happening here.

Craig: Boots, we have talked about this quite a bit. It was something that also was running through Chernobyl, the notion of the danger of narrativizing history, even as history’s unfolding. Boots says, “Where do you start the story?” That word’s the problem. The problem is we actually doing know how to convey stories… Sorry, I just did it. We don’t know how to convey information to each other in a way that is compelling and attention-grabbing if it’s not in the form of a story. That is what stories are. Stories are the natural, instinctive, human way to relay information to other people so that the other people pay attention and listen. That’s where it all comes from.

The news media narrative, a lot of times people will be like, “It’s the problem. News media is feeding you a narrative.” They’re not hiding that. What else are they going to feed you? A ticker tape of facts? You can get those if you want. You’re not going to. Nobody is, because our brains don’t function like that. We don’t know how to collect that information and make sense of it in raw formats. Raw data, we cannot process it. We need it in the form of a story.

Then the problem is, yeah, you got a lot of bad screenwriters out there. You can narrativize in a way that I think is done in good faith. You can narrativize in a way that is not. What we see online, it’s fascinating. What used to happen was a narrative was dealt, and people heard it and therefore never knew this entirely different way of looking at it, this other narrative. Then later, there would be revisionist history. There’s an entire term for this, where revisionist, new vision, new movie, new story about the same thing, for us to go, “Oh, we did not think of it from that point of view.”

The entire approach to telling stories of Native Americans in this country is a revisionism of the way we used to do it, where they were savages who stole our kids, and we had to kill them. Now we don’t do that. Now we are telling this other narrative.

Online, what’s happening is, everybody is immediately questioning every narrative. Everything is revised in steady, real time to the point where people are completely fire-hosed with conflicting narratives, and their minds go into a kind of lock. The only people that are blithely going about their day online are people who blindly believe in one narrative. No other narrative is getting in. They’re happy as a clam to push that point of view because they have clarity, which is comforting.

For most of the rest of us, the fact is we are capable of holding two competing narratives in our head at the same time. Even though we’re capable of it, the hard part is sitting with the discomfort that there is no easy story here that makes a good movie. There is just a lot of misery, and there is a disappointment in human behavior, and shock and confusion. It changes on a day-to-day basis. You may find yourself thinking one way, then thinking the other, and thinking this way and thinking that way. That is pretty much normal, given the way we’re being bombarded.

John: I went through journalism school. Before I was a screenwriter, I had my training in journalism. Your first journalism class is they’re teaching you the basics of writing a news story, so the who, what, when, where, and how, and the why if you can find a why behind things. That why is often where the moral values kick in at times.

Listen. Those things I’m describing, the whos are the characters, and so you are picking characters for these things. The wheres are the settings. The whens are also the settings. You’re trying to provide context for the story for the person who’s reading it.

Of course, in news stories, you have this thing called a pyramid style, where you can theoretically cut it off at any point. Back in the days, where newspaper articles could only be so long, we would have to jump to other pages. It was a different time. But there’s always going to be limitations of space and how much context you can fill in.

It’s understandable that any journalist who’s writing about a subject is going to have an approach from some POV, some way of explaining this story that makes sense in the moment. If it’s about an explosion at a building, you’re going to need to focus on the people who would actually help you tell that story. Whether you’re trying to tell it in a very flat, newsy style or in a way that focuses on one family who escaped the collapsing building, you’re going to find some way to do that. That is a story. That’s going to create an emotional reaction in people that will hopefully cause them to better understand the purpose of why you’re telling the story. There’s nothing inherently wrong with using some of the techniques of narrative of the kind of storytelling we do in movies and TV to do that. It’s just you’ve got to be aware that you are doing it.

I think one of the things that Boots may be responding to is that we have whole networks that are set up to tell stories, create stories, to market stories that are not actually true or really have the slimmest relationship to truth. That’s why if you are watching CNN and you switch over to Fox News, the cast of characters is completely different. None of the same people are showing up on the same thing. Not the news anchors, but really what the stories are about, who the stories are about is so completely different. They have these ongoing storylines that they’re choosing to market and emphasize.

I think a great example recently is the war in Ukraine and how in those first couple weeks, everyone was like, “Oh shit, this is a real, huge crisis.” It was pretty clear that we were on Ukraine’s side, and we’re not on Russia’s side. Fox and other people are trying to recontextualize this. You can feel the gears grinding and having to find new ways to tell that story.

Craig: There is storytelling for the purpose of informing, and then there is storytelling for the purpose of comforting. I guess the meta-purpose would be, “Keep watching, and watch our ads, and put money in our pocket.” Stories for comfort are dangerous, because they are not done in good faith. To comfort people, you need to hit on this deep need for the world to make sense. The universe, existence, this all must make sense, because if it doesn’t, I’m going to panic.

Anybody that can be a certainty merchant is going to do well. Certainty is the orange chicken of rhetoric. People love orange chicken. They just do. They do. In the early days of Panda Express, the orange chicken was in the same size bin as every other food.

John: That’s madness, Craig, because most people want orange chicken.

Craig: Exactly. One day you went to the mall, and the orange chicken bin was twice as big as the other ones, because Panda Express was finally like, “We get it. You want the orange chicken.” That’s what certainty is. It’s orange chicken. It’s delicious, and it’s comforting, and it’s bad for you. You’re familiar with Godwin’s law. I assume you’re familiar with Godwin’s law.

John: Yeah. Oh wait, no, I’m confusing it with Betteridge’s law of headlines. Godwin’s law, tell me.

Craig: Godwin’s law says that as an online discussion grows longer, the probability that somebody will mention the Nazis or Hitler goes to one, basically. The reason that this happens is because there are so few things in our history that are unrevisable. The Nazis are one of them. Nobody has managed to successfully do revisionist history of the Nazis and go, “Wait a second, guys. Hold on. Let’s look at it from their point of view. This is the story behind… ” No. Anyone who’s done that is generally just wildly racist, and everybody can smell it coming from a mile away. There’s no legitimate other way to look at that. It was just wrong with a capital W. It is one of the few things everybody can point out and go, “Capital W wrong, we all agree.” Ah, certainty. This is why it gets injected into all of these arguments.

When Boots says screenwriting cliches of good and evil are used by news media narratives, that’s certainty peddling, because the one thing I know in my heart, in my bones, about what’s going on in Israel and Gaza and what has happened is that the vast majority of people living in Israel and Gaza are not deciding political policy for either government, not deciding military policy or operations for either side, not pulling triggers, not stabbing, not cutting, not raping, not killing. That’s the vast majority of people. All of those people are currently being pushed into bins defined by the other ones. It sounds like it would be the opposite of comfort peddling, but unfortunately, this is the sick side and the toxic side of narrativization.

John: Splitting into good and evil is really one of the fundamental traps here, because ways you say somebody’s good is like, “Oh, they’re fantastic. They’re wonderful. They are doing the right thing. They are noble.” You have all these characteristics of what a good person is. If there’s one aspect that’s not so good, like, oh no, you’re cracking my image of that, so we will ignore that thing that’s not so good.

Once you label somebody as evil, it’s very hard then to look at the subtlety of why they’re doing the things that they’re doing. This show is about monsters and villains. Once you say that this person is evil, you stop looking for reasons. You stop looking for what their actual motivation and purposes are, and you stop paying attention to them as humans at all.

I think Boots is hitting on one of the real dangers and one of the cliches is that in a movie, it’s okay for our villain to be just a full-on villain. We can enjoy that. We want to see that villain punished, and then we can come to the end of this. In real life, it’s not so simple as just like, we got to kill the villain. That’s not actually how this works in real life.

Craig: No, and it ties back to our conversation about monsters, because when we do say this person is evil, we are excusing them from an accountability to humanity. We’re also essentially saying we don’t know how they got there. Evil just is. We can’t unwind it, and we can’t prevent it.

This is what Hannah Arendt talked about when she talked about the banality of evil in analyzing Eichmann on trial and the world attempting to come to grips with what the Nazis had done after World War II. She was one of the first people to say, “Don’t you get it? They’re not monsters. They’re just people. What they did, they did in a very mundane, all-too-human way, meaning it could happen again. People would do this again.” That’s important to resist the monsterization, because it makes it easy at that point. There is no solution. There is no solution to monsters. Nuke it from orbit, I guess. Game over, man. Game over.

John: Game over, man. I want to squeeze in one listener question, because it’s been too long since we’ve answered listener questions.

Craig: Great.

John: We have one here from Scott.

Drew: Scott writes, “I have a screenplay idea that revolves around cosplay. None of the characters would be presented as actual anime, superheros, or whatever, but I’d like to reference them in the context of regular people dressed as their favorite character at cosplay events. For example, Batman, a regular person, is seen walking by at a cosplay event, and one of my characters says something about Batman. I use the word Batman in the script. Should I avoid any type of presence, either visual or verbal, of copyrighted characters in the screenplay? I’m concerned about legal repercussions.”

John: If you have Batman walking by in the background of your shot, and especially if they’re referencing it, you’re going to hear from Warner’s legal. That’s a thing that’s going to happen. You may have some good defense on that, but just know that that’s a thing that’s going to happen. Your producers and other folks who are putting in money may wonder, “Oh crap, is this going to be a problem.” It could be a problem. If you’re setting a story in a world in which a lot of copyrighted characters are going to have to participate, that’s going to influence how you make your movie.

Craig: You can parody existing characters, but that doesn’t sound like what you’re talking about. You can do documentary, where people are walking around and wearing intellectual property. They’re in a public place, and that’s fine as well. What you’re talking about here, you would have to take an extra, put them in a Batman costume, and have them walk around. What is that Batman costume? It’s something you’re going to either make, or it’s something you’re going to buy. Either way, it doesn’t work like that. I don’t think you’re going to be on steady ground there. That’s a tricky one.

I think John is right. You can talk about Batman all you want. That’s not a problem. Batman exists in the world. That character is a fact in the world, so you can talk about that character until the cows come home. Showing the bat suit, which has been copyrighted up the wazoo, that’s going to be a much trickier thing to do.

John: Scott, a thing that you might consider is creating your own universe of fandom within your space of your film, so that your characters are obsessed with a thing that does not actually exist in the real world but possibly could exist, because I don’t know most anime stuff. If you told me that there was a whole universe of these characters that people were obsessed with, I would believe you if you established that as being true in your world. That may be a good solution for you is that you have characters who are obsessed with a very specific thing, like Galaxy Quest. It has its own very specific fandom. That may be a way to explore the themes you want to explore without having to deal with all the real-world copyright issues.

Craig: It sounds like that’s what Scott’s doing. It says, “None of the characters would be presented as actual anime characters, superheros, etc., but I’d like to reference them.” I would say referencing them verbally, fine. Referencing them visually, on shaky ground, and like John says, probably going to get you some letters.

What it comes down to is, if somebody buys the script, one of that company’s lawyers is going to have to look at this and make a decision. If that lawyer says, “I don’t have a problem with this,” guess what? You’re off the hook, dude, because there’s this wonderful thing called indemnification, which says that if the studio says this is fine legally, and it turns out it’s not, and you get sued, the studio is going to cover all of that, because they did it.

John: Indemnification doesn’t necessarily mean that your movie gets released into the world. There have been things where those kind of concerns have kept things from being released for a while. That’s its own huge problem.

Craig: You don’t want that. By and large, this is not going to be an area where the studio’s going to try and push the boundaries of IP law. They are generally risk-averse, so unlikely that you’re going to be allowed to do something that will put the movie in legal jeopardy.

John: Agreed. It’s time for our One Cool Things.

Craig: Yay.

John: My One Cool Thing is another podcast. It is by Josh Barro and Ken White. It’s called Serious Trouble. What they do is every week they talk through the major court cases that are happening around the country, sometimes the world, but really mostly domestic U.S. Ken White, he’s Popehat on Twitter. He’s now on Bluesky. We play D and D with him. He’s a very, very smart defense lawyer. Josh Barro’s a journalist who writes about these kind of issues.

What I love about it is, so much of what’s happening in the news these days does revolve around court cases, like all the cases that are against Trump right now, the weird SBF trial, lots of other just esoteric, strange cases. It’s nice to have just a weekly check-in on what’s actually happening in all these things, and a smart conversation between two people who know what they’re talking about, which is familiar to folks who hopefully are listening to Scriptnotes. Serious Trouble. It’s just serioustrouble.show. You’ll find a link to their Substack, which has all of their episodes you can listen to.

Craig: Talking about narratives on both sides of things, Ken White formerly was a federal prosecutor, and he sees it from both sides. It’s really interesting to hear him talk about these things. My One Cool Thing is not new, but it’s been fun and new for me. Lego Titanic.

John: Love it.

Craig: It is exactly what it sounds like. Normally, when I tackle a Lego project, I’m looking for something that’s going to occupy me for a long time. This one certainly fits the bill. Over 9,000 pieces. Over 9,000! It’s divided up into three sections. I just finished the first section, first third. I think the deal, based on what I’m building – I hope this is the deal – is that the three pieces will be linked together but not snapped together, so you could pull them apart, and people can see inside, because there’s all this cool stuff inside.

John: Love it.

Craig: It’s a beast. It’s a heavy beast, but it’s quite beautiful. I am enjoying it. It is expensive. I’m not going to lie. It is expensive. Also, Lego, dear Lego, why so many boxes? John, it came in a box, a shipping box. You open the shipping box, and inside is a smaller box. When I say smaller, I mean one millimeter smaller, so really hard to get out of the first box. You get that box out, that’s also a shipping box. You then open that box. Inside there is another box. This is now the box with the Legos. You then open that box, and inside that box, three boxes, each for one third of the set.

John: That division I can understand, because they don’t want the little envelopes to get confused.

Craig: Just do one box with three boxes in it. That’s a lot of boxes.

John: That’s a lot of boxes. Craig, we’ve talked a lot about people’s ability to visualize or to hear things, but I can definitely feel Lego pieces snapping together as you were talking. I can feel the indentations on my fingertips from the Lego as you’re talking about that. It’s such a distinct, tactile thing that happens there.

Craig: Yep, or in the bottom of your foot as you step on it.

John: Yes. Good lord. It’s going to happen.

Craig: Sharp.

John: I’m excited to see it. You have done I know Lego Death Star?

Craig: Yep, Death Star and Lego Millennium Falcon.

John: Now, Craig, you recently moved. Did these giant Legos move with you to your new house?

Craig: Oh, no. Those big sets were demolished years ago by my kids, and happily so. I don’t know. There’s something about like, “Look at my Death Star,” that feels really dorky, whereas, “Look at my Titanic,” feels like, oh, someone’s entered the History Channel phase of his life. It’s slightly more dignified, so I think I will be able to display the Lego Titanic.

John: Fantastic. I’ll be looking forward to photos once you get it all finished.

Craig: Of course.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt-

Craig: Yay.

John: … with help from Chris Csont.

Craig: Yay.

John: It is edited by Matthew Chilelli-

Craig: Yay.

John: … who also did our outro this week. Thank you, Matthew.

Craig: Yay.

John: If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@dev.johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions. You will find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on the old internet. Craig, thank you for a good conversation on monsters, and happy Halloween.

Craig: Happy Hallowe’en, John.

John: Love it. Get that apostrophe in there.

[Bonus Segment]

Craig: You’ve got mail.

John: Craig, did it take you back?

Craig: Yeah. That is the sound of the early web, I guess. It wasn’t really the web.

John: It was the web. It was pre-web. It was early internet. It was how most of us first got a sense of what the internet was going to be. This whole Bonus Segment is inspired by this new website that’s come up at neal.fun. Neal Agarwal put up this Internet Artifacts collection, this museum of the old internet. It’s really nicely done.

Craig: It’s beautiful. It does bring me back. This is generational narcissism, but I don’t care. We’re the coolest. Gen X is the coolest. We have all the context. We have all the context, but we also still know how to do stuff, because we’re not grandpa yet. We’re not like, “How does my phone work?” No, we know how the phone works. Also, we were there when it was Usenet. We were there when it was dial-up modems, even the put your phone on a weird rubber cradle modem.

John: Oh yeah, went through all that.

Craig: We were there when email began. We were there for all of it. We saw it all. Usenet, oh my goodness.

John: This site begins at 1977 with ARPANET. My dad was an engineer at Bell Labs, and so he was actually on these very early versions of this.

Craig: Wow.

John: I remember him talking about he emailed with my cousin Tim, who was I think then going to MIT. The email might take a day or two to get through, which is just so crazy to think about. It did seem just like magic. We had the kind of modem where you had to manually dial the phone and stick in the little cradle. I was on bulletin board systems, BBSs, quite early on. It was so magical just to be talking with other people through text, even though only one or two users could be on at a time. You had to send saved messages, and there were forums. It was just a very early version of everything we have now.

Craig: BBS, bulletin board system, that’s how we used to do things, by figuring out how to analogize them to physical objects around us. It was like, “Imagine a bulletin board where you could post a note, and then somebody could come by and post a note next to your note about your note.” “Okay, I get it, it’s a bulletin board system.” That’s how it began. You would dial-up, and you would do this stuff.

I used to get – I can’t even remember what the magazine was – Byte. Maybe it was Byte. In the ads in the back, there would be ads for these things, where you’d be calling up. It was exhilarating. My parents were not engineers. They had no idea what I was doing. It was so early. It was all innocent and very, very, very dorky.

John: It was.

Craig: Social media is for people that are social. This was for people that were not, and it helped them be social.

John: Obviously, you can’t have the internet without computers. We had computers for a long time before there was internet. I think that may be a hard thing for our kids to understand is that we had computers that just sat by themselves and couldn’t talk to anybody else. They were appliances. They were just a thing that could do that stuff. There was no ability to move beyond the walls of your computer.

Now, of course, it’s hard to think about a computer that doesn’t connect to the internet. You could go into airplane mode, but it’s not really the same. Our computers are designed to talk to other computers. Our phones are as well. There’s not a great use for a lot of our machines unless they have the ability to connect to an internet. An internet is not just other people, but it’s sources of information. It is video. It is all these things, which was just unimaginable in those very early days.

Craig: Nowadays, I suppose if a computer is completely disconnected from the internet, we view it as some sort of cool spy machine that is off the grid. That was everything.

John: Exactly.

Craig: Until modems came along, that was it. My friend Eric and I were doing this early programming. We just had to sit together, next to each other to do it. That’s how it was. I had to get on my bike and go to his house to work on something together. This is why so much of what we take for granted of modern internet culture really does come from those early days of nerds. The reason spam is called spam is because of the Monty Python sketch, “Spam spam spam spam spam, wonderful spam.” If there’s one thing nerds love, it’s Monty Python. God, do they love Monty Python.

John: They love it so much.

Craig: Sorry. God, do we love Monty Python. That’s why it’s called spam. All these wonderfully cool people say spam all the time and don’t know why.

John: They have no idea why.

Craig: Nerds.

John: I’ve not really thought about the fact that when my friend Ethan wanted to show me something new, like a new program he had, I had to literally go to his house to see it. There was no way for him to… You obviously couldn’t share a screen. He couldn’t send me the thing. I was there. If I wanted a copy of it, I would have to bring my floppy disks and put it on. I started college in that same situation, where only by my senior year did we have kind of the ability to go online. That was really just to go onto the main computer. It was not the same. The real internet was not there yet, the real internet that we think about.

Craig: That’s right. It wasn’t like I was a hacker, but I was pretty well versed in the early days of networking. When I started working at Disney in 1994, all the Macs were connected in the office through an ethernet cable.

John: Was it ethernet or was it Apple Talk? There was a protocol before that.

Craig: Sorry. It was Apple Talk. You’re right. It was Apple Talk. The only purpose of that really was to access I think a printer that was on Apple Talk.

John: Yeah, a shared laser writer.

Craig: Exactly, the good ole shared laser writer. What a lot of people didn’t realize is that they had changed settings on their computer and shared a whole bunch of stuff. I would go on. Okay, I’m looking for the shared laser writer. Suddenly, I’m like, “Why can I see everything in Brenda’s computer? If I want to go read her divorce agreement, I can. This is not good. Somebody needs to tell these… “ But there wasn’t even IT. There wasn’t even anyone telling people, “Oh, by the way, here’s this rudimentary security concept. Don’t share things you don’t want to share.” They didn’t even know they were sharing them. That’s the clunky old beginnings of all this stuff.

John: Absolutely. What we think about in terms of the internet probably really begins with the web. The first web browsers we used were Netscape Navigator. There was Internet Explorer early on. In 1996 they show the Apple computer homepage. It’s just so unbelievable to see how ugly it is. It’s like this fake 3D kind of thing, these buttons that stand out, that look like buttons you push. Just the aesthetics, the style of the time were so different from where we’ve gotten to.

Craig: The general aesthetic of things has improved dramatically. It was so ugly back then. It was blocky, pixelated. The windows, they made them into windows. Do you know what I mean? They looked like windows instead of just what they are now. You can certainly see that when you look at the early days of the internet. Everything was being designed, of course, for limited resources and low transmission rates. There were the bones of things that exist still. When you are learning html now, and you’re designing things, there are fields. Fields are things where you enter stuff. Yep, that’s been there since the start. A lot of this stuff is just hyperlinks, like the whole concept of hyperlinks. Do you remember HyperDeck?

John: I don’t remember HyperDeck. I remember HyperCard.

Craig: Oh, sorry, HyperCard. That’s what I’m thinking of, HyperCard.

John: I loved HyperCard. Loved it so much.

Craig: It was the best. HyperCard was Apple’s… It was this amazing thing. Imagine having a bunch of cards. Each card is an index card. You could write anything you want on it. Then you can link one card to another. If you clicked on this thing, it would send you to this other card. In its own way, it became a little bit of a programming platform. That’s all the internet is is HyperCard. It’s just links, linking back pages or cards. It’s all HyperCard.

John: The very original version of my website is like that. It’s a bunch of static, single pages, and you can link between them, and I’m linking to other things out there on the web. Recently, I pulled together a version of… I think I’ll put a link in the show notes to the old version of the site, which we have up someplace, so people can click through it. It is so primitive, and yet it was revolutionary at the time. Coming off of that, we then made it to the Myspace, the Geocities, the sense that you now have a home on the internet. I want to bring in Drew here. Drew, what is your first memory of the internet. Were you in grade school?

Drew: I was in grade school. My babysitter in the summer of 1997 got the internet in her house. We just looked at the computer and were like, “Where do we go?” The only thing we could come up with was gap.com. We just went to Gap and looked around that.

Craig: gap.com. That’s awesome.

John: That’s incredible.

Drew: That was it.

John: When you say that she had the internet, you have to understand, that meant that she had a special, dedicated, probably phone line, maybe DSL line. What was the predecessor to DSL?

Drew: I think it was phone, for sure.

John: Then she could do these things. I remember at my apartment off of Melrose was the first time I had a dedicated line that was not actually just a modem line. I didn’t have to dial into a thing. I basically was always connected. It was amazing. It was just so great. Now, this piece would be laughable, but at the time it felt like just magic that things would just show up.

Craig: I’m looking at the 1996 Pepsi World page at pepsi.com. I’m having full PTSD here. “If you have the Shockwave plugin, click here.” No! Shockwave, the worst thing ever.

John: Shockwave. It’s important to understand that we had to have all these interim protocols for how we were doing things like video and more complicated sound stuff. We had Shockwave. We had RealPlayer. We had all these different ways which you would get video that was really compressed and blocky and low quality, but it did again feel like magic to do that. Now that’s assumed that all that stuff can happen.

Craig: All built into the browsers, as opposed to browsers not knowing what to do with that stuff.

John: Drew, did you have a Myspace page? What was the order of social media things for you?

Drew: LiveJournal was first. That was 2004.

John: That’s right.

Drew: God, I hope that’s scrubbed from the internet, because that’s bad. Then Myspace, and then quickly, I think I was Facebook in 2005 or 2006. That seemed to come in pretty hot and fast.

John: Because I had my own website, I never really did the Myspace as much or the Geocities, any of the online bloggy things that were not my own stuff.

Drew: I miss Geocities.

Craig: Oh, really? You miss Geocities?

Drew: A little bit.

John: Tell us about Geocities. Sell us on Geocities.

Drew: Geocities, it was just people with passions and the ability to make a website about that passion, but there wasn’t quite the community aspect to it necessarily. It was just shouting passions into the void and hoping you stumbled upon it. A lot of time at sleepovers growing up was spent finding these weird websites. I can’t even think of any off the top of my head. You would just find all these things. There wasn’t necessarily a dialog to it. There was a little bit of comment sections, but for the most part, it was just someone going on and on about how much they love Cloris Leachman or something, just something very strange.

Craig: Wow. That is specific.

John: Now, looking through this archive, this one stops at the introduction of the iPhone, which I think is a useful demarcation from the original internet to now this internet is in your pocket. I’d also say I don’t perceive the aesthetics having changed nearly as much in the last 10 years. I think you’re looking at a website from five years ago, seven years ago, it’s not going to seem that different to me. Maybe it’s just blindness to the things that I can’t see, and 10 years from now we’ll say, “Oh my god, can you believe what these things looked like at the time?”

Craig: What’s happened, and this is probably true across all sorts of modalities for human design, when it began it was garish and tacky. The internet, when you look at the way things were designed, it was just so tacky, because everybody was like, “Oh my god, look. I can design stuff.” What you got was what normal people do when they design things, which is garbage, because most people aren’t artists. Most people aren’t designers. They think, “Cool, I can make the letters spin.” Yeah, but it’s tacky and dumb.

Over time, as the internet became something that could generate massive amounts of money for large corporations, no surprise, the design was professionalized by professionals. Everybody sort of, kind of then copied that. What we have now, and what we’ve had for a while, is a little bit of a homogenized design that is probably over-regulated and too conservative and restrictive, but it’s certainly not tacky.

When you look at some of these things, it’s like when you look at pictures of yourself. John, you probably have some from when you were a kid in the ‘70s and you’re wearing some sort of plaid pants and a mustard-colored turtleneck.

John: Some white corduroys.

Craig: You’re like, “Mom, why?” You get this cringe of tackiness. That’s the way it used to be, but not so much anymore.

John: I do wonder, I’m thinking, what is the next thing to come along that we’re going to have to design for. Obviously, the VR systems are in their infancy. They’ve gone through some iterations. Apple will come out with their headset. If we end up using headsets more and have a UI for those, those are going to evolve and change. I feel like the main players in this are already coming in there with a sense of style and taste that I doubt will be as tacky, but it will still have to iterate.

Craig: I agree. We need to go through these convulsions, but the presence of money has changed everything, no question. The internet was built by the equivalent of the people that go to Joann’s Fabrics and make their own clothes. It was just really clunky and goofy but sweet.

John: That sort of hacker-y, “we’re going to figure it out ourselves” attitude is lovely and can lead to some great things. Of course, how we learn how to make movies and online video, all of that has progressed so much, but it started with people who were just experimenting. We applaud them for building these things that now look so dated and ugly, but at the time really were exciting. Cool. Craig, Drew, thank you so much.

Craig: Thanks, guys.

Drew: Thanks.

Craig: Bye.

Links:

  • Aaron Sorkin on This Cultural Life from BBC Radio 4
  • Serious Trouble podcast from Josh Barro and Ken White
  • LEGO Titanic
  • Internet Artifacts
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram and Twitter
  • John on Mastodon
  • Outro by Matthew Chilelli (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt with help from Chris Csont and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@dev.johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

This Uncertain Age

Episode - 620

Go to Archive

November 28, 2023 Scriptnotes, Transcribed

John and Craig investigate their anxiety and ask, why is the future so hard to predict right now? They discuss everything from what’s going at OpenAi, the upcoming elections, a new service that uses AI to generate script coverage, and muse about how to move forward in a time of unprecedented uncertainty.

We also follow up with two listeners who wrote in for advice, and answer new questions on composite characters, being inspired by reddit, and how to maintain a long running D&D group.

In our bonus segment for premium members, John and Craig freestyle the introduction to the upcoming Scriptnotes Book.

Links:

  • The Strange $55 Million Saga of a Netflix Series You’ll Never See by John Carreyrou for the New York Times
  • Digital background actors in Disney’s Prom Pact
  • Sacking, revolt, return: how crisis at OpenAI over Sam Altman unfolded by Dan Milmo for The Guardian
  • Alex Edelman: Just for Us
  • Weber Connect Smart Grilling Hub
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram and Twitter
  • John on Mastodon
  • Outro by Alex Winder (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@dev.johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

UPDATE 12-11-23: The transcript for this episode can be found here.

Comedy Episode

November 21, 2023 Scriptnotes, Transcribed

John welcomes Jesse David Fox (Comedy Book, Good One) and Greg Iwinski (Last Week Tonight, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert) to “explain the joke” and discuss how comedy works.

They explore everything from harnessing your comedic voice, building a career in comedy, the importance of diversity in late night, to fundamental questions about the art form: How do jokes work? Is laughter always the primary goal of a comedy? Do you need to put your work online? How has the algorithm changed our consumption of comedy? And where does comedy go from here?

In our bonus segment for premium members, Greg, Jesse and John talk about their shared love for The Simpsons. What makes it so funny, and how has it shaped a generation of comedy nerds?

Links:

  • Greg Iwinski on Twitter and Instagram
  • Jesse David Fox on Instagram and Twitter
  • Comedy Book: How Comedy Conquered Culture–and the Magic That Makes It Work by Jesse David Fox
  • Good One: Podcast About Jokes by Jesse David Fox
  • Julia on MAX
  • The Great Stewardess Rebellion by Nell McShane Wulfhart
  • Everything You Want (ft. MUNA) – Matt Rogers, from his album Have You Heard of Christmas?
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram and Twitter
  • John on Mastodon
  • Outro by Jonathan Petkau (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@dev.johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

UPDATE 11-30-23: The transcript for this episode can be found here.

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