John August

fixed

Forums are fun!*

Meta, Projects, The Nines

*Unless you have to moderate them.

Over at Look For The Nines, the official-for-now site for The Nines, I set up a forum to handle discussion about the movie. I had deep ambivalence about doing this.

Forums pre-date blogs, instant messaging, and even email as we understand it. Stretching back to their BBS roots, forums allow truly user-generated conversations. On a blog like this one, the comments sections are limited to the topic of the post, and have a very short shelf-life (except for the endless and pointless Prince of Persia thread I had to finally shut down.) Forum topics, on the other hand, can cover anything, and can run as long as there are still people interested in the conversation.

That said, I think message boards bring out the worst in people. Given the opportunity to say anything, an annoying percentage of people will say anything, which is to say, nothing of merit. While there are various systems of karma and tagging to help punish true miscreants, there’s no magic plug-in to detect illiterate, off-topic rambling.But here’s a suggestion for coding wizards: How about a service like Google’s image labeler “game” in which real people would look at a forum post and vote on whether it’s sensible? The best one can do, it seems, is offer avatars — those little pictures beside users’ names. I subconsciously discount anything said by a person with a stupid avatar.

I knew I couldn’t ponder my forum misgivings for very long: As of 11:20 p.m. Sunday night, 1,300 people will have seen The Nines. I wanted to offer a virtual meeting place where viewers could dissect and discuss what is honestly a pretty complicated movie. And that meant a forum.

So I bit the bullet and installed one. The technical stuff wasn’t that rough at all. After considering various forum structures I liked and despised, I decided to limit it to just two boards, Before and After. The former would be for all general discussion about the movie and its release (no spoilers), while the latter would be specifically about story points and things in the movie (that is, spoilers-a-go-go). Why just two boards? In my experience, sites with extensive folder structures become unworkable. It ends up being so many clicks to check on an old thread that one quickly gives up. In the end, one or two boards (often labeled “General Discussion”) carry 95% of the active threads.

Unlike blogging software, the tricky part with a forum isn’t getting it set up, but getting it rolling. Since you’re relying on random strangers to post entries, you need a certain critical mass to get it running. It’s a lot like throwing a party: no one wants to be the first to arrive, standing awkwardly near the keg, wondering if there’s a better party elsewhere. So we needed people, stat. For this, I relied on the power of celebrity.

Ryan Reynolds posted a link to the site on his MySpace page, which got the ball rolling. (It’s worth noting that of the 12 or so forum participants so far, three of them run Ryan Reynolds fansites.) With 16 topics and 43 posts, it’s not exactly Digg. But I’m hoping that it will get some post-Sundance traction. And if not, it’s only cost about two hours of time.

For a change, I’ve actually delegated something: I’m not the moderator on the site. But I will be stopping by to answer questions from time to time, assuming there are questions to answer.

(Update March 2011: The forums section for Look For The Nines is no longer running. Also, Ryan Reynolds nixed his MySpace page years ago.)

Farrah Fawcett on Parade

Parade

Every week, I re-answer questions sent to Walter Scott’s Personality Parade®. Today’s column comes from January 7, 2007.

[q] I was shocked by recent photos of Farrah Fawcett. Is she near death?—Carey Roberts, Cleveland, Ohio

[a] Walter Scott cannot predict when or even if Farrah Fawcett will die, because he is not a doctor, and does not actually exist. He can, however, point out how great she was in “The Burning Bed,” and speculate whether the story paralleled any of the drama in her marriage to “Six Million Dollar Man” Lee Majors. (Answer: No.)

[q] Female fashion models get all the attention. But who’s the world’s highest-paid male model?—Nancy A., New York, N.Y.

[a] Sadly, Donald Trump.

[q] Can you bring me up to date on Kaley Cuoco, who played the late John Ritter’s daughter on 8 Simple Rules?—Bethany Page, Rehoboth, Del.

[a] What a coincidence that you asked that question: Kaley’s new Lifetime telefilm, To Be Fat Like Me, debuts tomorrow. Walter Scott will be setting his fictional TiVo to catch it, because he doesn’t want to bother Kaley’s publicist for a screener copy.

[q] My friend says the Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillippe split had nothing to do with her jealousy over his fooling around with other women—that it was his jealousy of her. I say, “Jealous of what?”—Lauren Walker, Washington, D.C.

[a] That’s funny: When I say “jealous of what?” over and over again, it sounds like “Jesuit.” Which brings up painful, long-repressed memories. Come to think of it, it’s not funny as much as heartbreaking. Maybe that’s why they split up.

[q] You suggested that The View couldn’t accommodate both Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar. Do you think Rosie is hurting the show?—Dennis Woods, Culver City, Calif.

[a] On the contrary, I think the show is hurting Rosie. Sales of her signature fragrance “Obscurity” have plummeted since she joined the harpy gabfest.

[q] Since the medical limitations on the use of silicone have been lifted, will more celebs get implants?—B. Grant, Laguna Beach, Calif.

[a] No. Hollywood celebrates inner beauty. And Walter Scott feels more than a handful is wasted.

[q] One of my favorite Hollywood stars of all time is Sidney Poitier. Did he do his own singing in the 1959 film version of Porgy and Bess?—Gene Lockhart, Naples, Fla.

[a] Google poitier singing porgy. It’s the first hit. Please Gene, don’t waste Walter’s time.

[q] Is it true that Christine Ebersole, star of Broadway’s Grey Gardens, almost quit showbiz?—Beth Bayer, Morristown, N.J.

[a] Yes. But consider this: it’s possible to “almost” decide to do anything. Just moments before she almost quit showbiz, Christine Ebersole almost told her neighbor that his wife was killed by a mountain lion, just to get see his reaction. That’s the kind of cruel woman she almost is.

[q] Please settle a bet. I say that Willie Shoemaker is the winningest jockey ever. My husband says it’s Laffit Pincay Jr. Who buys dinner?
—B. Redmile, Augusta, Ga.

[a] Trick question: The man buys dinner. Always.

Scribble version, final version

Words on the page, Writing Process

In my post on How to write a scene, I showed the “scribble version” of a scene as an example of the process. In hindsight, it was a little unfair to show the bones and not show the body. So here’s the scribble version again, followed by the final scene. On real paper, it runs exactly two pages.

Scribble version

DUNCAN waiting edge of seat

ITO

I was one of the doctors who worked on your wife accident injuries severe, trauma team, sorry, couldn’t save her.

(sits, reflex)

nature of injuries, concern fetus wouldn’t survive in utero. paramedic able deliver caesarian boy healthy

(nodding not hearing)

nurse can take you to see him, know a lot to handle

what

a lot to handle

take me to see him?

yes

see who?

your son. paramedic was able to

(grabs clipboard)

I know this may seem

My wife wasn’t pregnant

Your wife didn’t tell you...

My wife has never been pregnant. been trying three years. fertility clinic last week

I examined the baby myself. nearly at term.

I don’t know whose baby, not hers.

Full scene

INT. ER WAITING ROOM – NIGHT

PAUL DUNCAN, 38, sits on the edge of his seat, vigilant. He watches every DOCTOR and NURSE who passes, waiting for the one who will talk to him. Finally, he notices the TRIAGE NURSE speaking with a doctor, GERALD ITO. The coordinator hands him a patient folder, then gestures towards the waiting room. Duncan stands as the doctor approaches.

Ito speaks with a practiced calm, making horrible news sound straightforward:

ITO

Mr. Duncan, I’m Dr. Ito. I was one of the doctors who worked on your wife.

DUNCAN

They said she was in an accident.

ITO

Her injuries were severe. The trauma team did everything they could. I’m sorry. We couldn’t save her.

Duncan nods. He wasn’t expecting to hear she was alive, but he had held out some hope.

Almost by reflex, Duncan sits down. Ito joins him.

ITO (CONT’D)

Because of the nature of the injuries, there was concern the fetus wouldn’t survive in utero. The paramedic was able to deliver the baby by Caesarian section. It’s a boy. Healthy and stable.

Duncan just keeps nodding. It’s not clear how much he’s hearing.

ITO (CONT’D)

If you’d like, in a few minutes, I can have a nurse take you up to see him. Or if you’d like to wait, I understand. This is a lot to handle.

Duncan looks at the doctor strangely.

DUNCAN

What did you say?

ITO

I said, this is a lot to handle all at once.

DUNCAN

(confused)

You would take me to see him?

ITO

Yes.

DUNCAN

See who?

ITO

Your son.

(patiently)

The paramedic was able to deliver the baby your wife was carrying. He’s healthy.

A beat. Duncan suddenly grabs the folder Ito is holding. He checks the name: Pamela Lynn Duncan. What’s more, her driver’s license is clipped to the file.

ITO (CONT’D)

I know this may seem unreal. A dream. That’s very common in a situation like...

DUNCAN

My wife wasn’t pregnant.

Choosing his words carefully...

ITO

Your wife didn’t tell you she was pregnant?

DUNCAN

My wife has never been pregnant. We’ve been trying for three years. We were at the fertility clinic last week.

Trying to remain calm...

ITO

Mr. Duncan, I examined the baby myself. It looked to be nearly at term.

DUNCAN

I don’t know whose baby that was. It wasn’t hers.

Why this scene? Well, I picked it because it’s pretty self-contained, and doesn’t feature any characters who had been set up earlier. It’s also an example of how the purpose of a scene is what you need the audience to learn, not necessarily your protagonist. The hero is not even in the scene, and these two characters never appear again.

MTV News on The Nines

Projects, The Nines

As we get closer to Sundance, I promise not to besiege you with blurbs about The Movie–that’s what the other site is for. But here’s one. From MTV’s “Ten Most Anticipated” list:

6. “The Nines”
Ryan Reynolds and Hope Davis star in this “Magnolia”-like drama, praised by some Hollywood insiders as the best script to make the rounds in years. All indications are that the less an audience knows, the better, so all we’ll say is the plot revolves around a video-game designer, a down-and-out actor and a TV maven whose lives become eerily intertwined.

Why we’re intrigued: Reynolds could be up for a big year, with “Smokin’ Aces” establishing him as a leading man and “Nines” arriving to display his dramatic chops. After memorable work in so many comedies, it’ll be interesting to see if he can pull off a Bill Murray-like transformation.

Why we’re afraid: The title is instantly forgettable, and way too easily confused with “The Ten.”

Your opinions? Rather than double up comments, discuss away in the Forum ((Forum no longer active)).