John August

QandA

In other news

Education

Hugh Hefner is giving $2 million to the USC School of Cinematic Arts, funding an exhibition area in the new complex currently under construction, along with an archive. I’m on the alumni board for the school, so I’ve had a chance to see a lot of the plans for much-improved facility, and take a hard-hat tour.

Between you and me, I’m sick with jealousy for the students who get the new building. Not only is it finally big enough, but it manages to capture the feeling of a studio lot, with all the California Mediterranean details and great attention to the hidden infrastructure — physical and digital.

What to do with a mediocre short film

Film Industry, QandA

questionmarkI have a fifteen-minute short film I wrote and directed about a year ago as a student project. It has a strong concept, but one that requires viewing all the way to the end to get. Unfortunately, the execution is not so hot. Having gained a year’s distance on the project, I can now see several problems with the acting, pacing, and writing. This view is backed up by the fact that the film’s been rejected by the majority of the festivals it was submitted to. In screenings, there is often inappropriate laughter in the beginning and middle, but the film consistently “gets” people in the end — there’s a bit of a twist ending, and people seem to find the resolution and overall concept satisfying.

Given the film’s problems, at this point I’m embarrassed to even show it around anymore. My question is, should I follow my instincts and just bury it away, focusing instead on spec scripts and potentially other shorts? Or is there still some value in a short with a good concept but poor execution? It represents a fair amount of money and a lot of dedication by a good crew, so I figured it was worth asking.

— Jeff
Michigan

Bury it. As much as you hope people will see through the poor execution, they won’t. They can’t. That’s one of the most frustrating things about screenwriting: the final film may or may not reflect the quality of the writing underneath. (Yet we give awards for “Best Screenplay” based on the movie, not the script. Discuss.)

If there’s an idea that really is phenomenal at the heart of the short, you’re better off writing it as a script again.

Using “we” in scene description

QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI once saw a video of a table read from NBC’s Scrubs on their video blog. The show runner, Bill Lawrence, read the directions and the cast read their lines. He read something like “We see J.D. running up to Elliot…” or “We cut to The Janitor…”.

Is this good writing style or does he read the directions like this on the fly? Do you think that what’s really written on the pages is more like “J.D. runs to Elliot…” or “Cut to The Janitor…” without the “we”? Or are scripts always written this way?

— John
Austin

P.S.: Good luck with the strike! We’re all behind you!!

I feel like I’ve answered a similar question before, but I welcome the chance to have a post that’s not about the strike.

Using “we” in scene description is perfectly valid, and is (in my completely unscientific guessing) a growing trend. My hunch is that Scrubs scripts are probably written very much like how Bill Lawrence read it, particularly given the show’s use of quick sight gags.

Screenplays can be written from a completely neutral third-person perspective (“the car SLAMS around the corner, tires SQUEALING”) or a first-person plural “reader as audience” perspective (“we SLIDE ALONG the steel skin of the 747, watching as rivets POP one after the other”).

“We” and “our” and “us” bothers some readers, who rightly point out that anything you describe using these terms could be adequately described without them. But I find it a handy way to avoid referring to the camera. It keeps the reader in story-mode, rather than thinking about the script as a technical shooting document.

So use “we” if you want to. But there’s no reason to overuse it. Always spend the 10 seconds to ask yourself if you need the “we see” or “we hear.” If it reads as well without it, drop it.