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What a flop feels like

August 24, 2011 Psych 101

Conan The Barbarian co-writer Sean Hood answers a dismal question: What’s it like to have your film flop at the box office?

The Friday night of the release is like the Tuesday night of an election. “Exit polls” are taken of people leaving the theater, and estimated box office numbers start leaking out in the afternoon, like early ballot returns. You are glued to your computer, clicking wildly over websites, chatting nonstop with peers, and calling anyone and everyone to find out what they’ve heard. Have any numbers come back yet? That’s when your stomach starts to drop.

By about 9 PM its clear when your “candidate” has lost by a startlingly wide margin, more than you or even the most pessimistic political observers could have predicted. With a movie its much the same: trade magazines like Variety and Hollywood Reporter call the weekend winners and losers based on projections. That’s when the reality of the loss sinks in, and you don’t sleep the rest of the night.

Read the whole thing. It’s a great write-up of the experience.

As screenwriters, we have little control over anything beyond the words on the page. Once cameras start rolling, the director, the producers and studio executives are making the big decisions. We contribute where we can — screenwriters can be great in the editing room — but we’re largely spectators.

In the last few days before release, even those big decision-makers are spectators. It truly is a launch: you’re watching the movie follow its trajectory, powerless to alter its course by more than a few degrees.

The quality of the finished film is obviously a major factor in how it performs. But it’s never the biggest factor.

What movies are you opening against? Which movies are holding surprisingly well? Did your fourth-billed star recently marry a younger man and show up at the premiere with both him and her ex-husband, sucking up all available publicity? (For example.)

Ultimately, you may have to fall back on Hollywood’s tautological version of the Serenity Prayer: It is what it is. There’s not always a helpful lesson to learn — at least not a lesson you as the screenwriter can act upon.

Still suing

August 18, 2011 Film Industry, Follow Up

Remember that guy who’s suing the agencies for not representing him? Jim Vines has an interview with him, and asks one question that kept nagging at me:

JV: With regard to the agents and/or producers you’ve queried, how do they even know you’re an African-American screenwriter? I mean, your point of view seems to be: “They know I’m black—they won’t read my script!” Do you mention in your queries that you’re an African-American?

JS: I didn’t say that they know I’m African-American. I said since the majors do not even accept queries, this has a disproportionate impact on African-Americans in terms of locking us out of the industry, as we have no access to the people we would need to be read by.

I don’t agree with his logic, but that’s at least an answer.

Disparate impact falls under U.S. employment law. Does it apply to the agencies he’s suing, since he’s not seeking to be hired by them? Assuming disparate impact could be shown, would requiring agencies to accept queries actually change the percentages? This interview still suggests a very uninformed view of the industry.

After the epic comment threads on this issue, let’s send any new discussion to Jim’s post.

Rob Corddry on getting stuff written

August 18, 2011 Geek Alert, Television, Web series

Merlin Mann’s Back to Work podcast has a great discussion with Rob Corddry this week, talking about Children’s Hospital. (Which, if you’re not watching, is available on iTunes.)

I was especially interested in how Corddry and his team are breaking stories for the upcoming season: using the simultaneous editing features in Google Docs. That’s the same way Stuart and I wrote the point-counterpoint for yesterday’s article about FCP X. The collaboration features in Google Docs are fairly amazing and under-heralded.

You can listen to the Corddry podcast here.

TV reboots have a bad track record

August 17, 2011 Television

Kevin Fallon points out that most reboots of classic series don’t stick around long:

Sleek, hip, and expensive relaunches of The Bionic Woman (which in 1978 starred an indestructible Lindsay Wagner) and Knight Rider (the ‘80s series in which a pre-Baywatch David Hasselhoff talks to his crime-fighting car) were high-profile disappointments for NBC in 2007 and 2008, respectively. The one-two punch of failure would be the cautionary tale against remaking TV classics—had attempts at reviving Get Smart, Love Boat, and Melrose Place (among others) not tanked spectacularly before them. Given the graveyard of TV remakes haunting Hollywood, why do networks keep churning them out?

Because familiar brand names are worth something, particularly when trying to launch a new show in the fall. And while the batting average isn’t great, several shows have worked, including 90210, Battlestar Galactica and Hawaii Five-O.

One could argue that the reboots Fallon lists simply weren’t very good (though I enjoyed the new Melrose Place).

For example, V was a slo-mo car crash of lizard sex and muddled religious allegory. The only reason it stuck around for a second season is that V is in its very DNA kind of awesome. ((I watched every episode of V. But then again, I would watch Elizabeth Mitchell boil water. When I close my eyes, Juliet is still living in her Dharma Initiative bungalow, waiting for her reading group.))

Look at it from a network president’s point of view. You’ve ordered pilots. They’ve been shot. Now you’re trying to decide what you want on your schedule.

Given two shows that seem roughly equal in quality, wouldn’t you pick the one with a pre-sold name? Do you want a comedy with a witch or Bewitched?

TV reboots will continue. Most of them will fail. But that’s because most TV shows fail. That’s TV.

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